Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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whirlwindkim 02/18/2018

let Me start off saying I am new to this kind of stuff. I’ve always been a person who is able to deal with things in life pretty easily. But the last months since September by life has been turned upside down in every way. My husband who I have been with for 6 years now and who I have a beautiful child with has asked me for a divorce in December but has not filed it as of yet. That part isn’t even the hardest thing to deal with though. In September I started to have some health issues which is hard on me being that I have always been a active person. I have been at points with this that I am not able to move, I have been to doctor after doctor, I’ve been miss diagnosed and just found out a week ago that at the age of 27 I have rheumatoid arthritis that is out of control due to how long it has been going on. My 3.5 year old son has had to see me unable to do anything with him that I was always doing before all this. I’ve been depressed due to not having my husbands full support with the disease but it doesn’t change how he feels. He told me he isn’t in love with me because I let our son consume me for so long and that I made him(husband) feel unappreciated and unloved. Never did I mean to let him feel like that, I feel I did still do those things because without his sacrifices would I have been able to do what I did up to now.

I joined this site because I am lost and confused. I do not know how to go thru this and I don’t have the support I need.

how can any husband or father let those feelings destroy something that was so strong before, how could he love our child so much if that was the cause of this.

Osheana 02/18/2018

wtf Yes I cursed marriage=support. Okay no real man is going to act like an emotional child cause your showing the love to the baby its nuts.No man is going to leave you during your hardship or crisis- been through all this.A husband is there for you on all levels.Maybe hes not fully mature,This really is a doozy.Honestly we women have to be preparing ourselves emotionally and physically because you dont have control over what curve balls life throws
I am sorry about your physical pain-People dont understand how this affects
someone mentally,emotionally,physically. Im here for you too.I understand.

whirlwindkim 02/18/2018

He quit talking to me and letting me in so long ago. His best friend is another woman and it has felt like for the whole time I was in a 3 person marriage.

But what hurts the most is that when I honestly needed my husbands support the most he chose to”kick me” when I was at my lowest point

May3030 02/18/2018

I really feel your pain. I'm also unwell and at a very low point (physically and emotionally) it's so hard when we need the one we love the most, they aren't there.

whirlwindkim 02/18/2018

The bad part is that we are still living in the house we bought this last May. I’m not saying he hasn’t helped me at all. He has helped me get up and move about the house at times. But the look he has when he is doing it is awful.

He won’t leave the house either which makes it so much harder because I am physically unable to go anywhere. I don’t have the option of somewhere to go

Osheana 02/18/2018

I have experienced this ,people that are suppose to be there just not being there, Im an expert- I was around for my now ex when both his parents passed
now my dog passed and he could careless girl but I knew it was over for a while you know I did the whole stick around see what you could salvage lol
You know what happens when you stick around they see Green Light means go and they never respect you- he told me he was going away with his brother
for the weekend to appraise some of his parents jewels lies girl lies found out
he was in a hotel with a woman.Anyhow back to you, we deserve the UTMOST in life never settle girl.Did the drs say how you got the rheumatoid arthritis?

Osheana 02/18/2018

You are very strong indeed because his best friend was another woman-would he have been okay with you having a best friend that was a man? Its really amazing the things we will later look back on and say wtf I tolerated that stuff.
We need to re new all of us on a daily basis. We cant be close fisted and allow
the Universe to show us what it has. We have to open our closed fists and release the person, because we dont own anyone this is the true a marriage certificate does not guarantee that the other person wont wake up to a reality
that this is not what they need or want so part of the cycle in love sometimes is the Art of Letting Go.We associate letting go with pain,or loss, fear, rejection,abandonment,but it the opposite actually.If you truly are on your highest Level mentally and spiritually if you love a person ,you will let them go if that is what they want, because if you have pure love for that person,you would want them to be happy even if that means without ourselves. talk to you later bye

whirlwindkim 02/18/2018

We live together still but I quit trying to salvage it a week after he said it. It is supposedly hereditary and my grandfather had it but he never got it till his 70s. They say that something happened or I was around something to made it become non dormant In my body. But because it took someone 5 months to figure out what was wrong it did get its chance to take some of the mobility from my left arm. I am unable to even pull my hair back because I cannot bend or straighten my elbow more than it is

whirlwindkim 02/18/2018

Yes his person he talks to everyday, texts, snapchats, goes to when he needs someone to talk to is a women, but the funny thing with that is that she wasn’t around till about 2.5 years ago. And when I expressed that I was okay with him being friends with her but I didn’t like how much they talked he told me he won’t stop being friends with someone for anyone. Everytime they first see each other they hug, everytime they leave they hug and say in love you. Everytime they talk on the phone they say I love you before hanging up. It’s messed up that for him he couldn’t step back for even his wife from this women

Osheana 02/18/2018

Now I understand in life there are always 3 sides to a story his story,your story
and the true story,The reason I say this is that relationships feed on a persons perspective. Let me give you an example,In my bathroom I have the decorative towels that (you know the ones only company is allowed to even touch lol), well the way I hang these towels on the bar I let them hang down long now .Every time Id go in the bathroom after my ex the towels would be pulled up so it hung short.I was like why does he keep disturbing the towels so I asked him why one day and he said "Oh it hans so low I thought they were falling off.With relationships you ,kim can see it as la la la la la and everything is okay and the other person sees the whole entire relationship as something else,So were there any warning signs early on that some things besides the best friend being a woman that something wasnt kosher?The rheumatoid arthritis, you have a good chance to beat this because you are young and can engage in a fitness routine geared around this ailment- check out support for this or do your own research but resolve in your mind to beat it through mental acuity,diet,lifestyle change,diet changes also,

whirlwindkim 02/19/2018

This best friend he has was best friends with his brother wife before in the past but the whole time she was she was actually sleeping with his brother while standing there being his wife’s best friend. That thought she did that I know she doesn’t do things unless she is getting something.

She tried to treat my son like her own child by buying him stuff all the time and being at my house playing when I was in the hospital. Going to places with my husband when I’m not able to physically do it.

I will not let the RA win. I have only been on medications for 1 week for it now and I have drastically changed my eating habits to help. I am still having some things hurt it but I just learn well I can’t do that it I can’t eat this. It sucks it really does.
I have grow up my whole life with animals and I have rode horses since I can remember. It has taken all that from me and I want it back. It’s my world along with my son and I’ll me damned if anyone or this disease takes what I love

growthhurts 02/19/2018

I'm sorry you are going through all this! Did you say you got some medication to treat your RA? As I understand, you can still lead a very active life with RA and the right treatment. Do you want to make it work with your husband? Because there is always hope. As your health improves and you get stronger, he may begin to see the woman he fell in love with. I've seen that it is common for men to feel not as important when you have a young child. That happened with my ex husband. He felt he wasn't getting enough attention from me when we had our baby and he looked for it elsewhere - female coworker. It's not your fault you were doing what is best for our baby! Sometimes, we just forget about each other when the children are small. You can get back what you had, though, if you want to. Hope you feel better soon and you are back to your active self!

whirlwindkim 02/19/2018

I did want to fix what was wrong back in December when he sprung the divorce in me out of no where but since then I have seen the type of person he has became with me and I don’t like it. He gets angry when I cry from feels or even from the physical pain I’m experiencing. This isn’t the first time that he had left me high and dry thoug. Not even a year into our relationship he left and 2 weeks later came crawling back begging for a chance again and I gave him it and it was all good until we had our son. He became jealous of the attention going to him so much and it’s not that he didn’t matter to me or that I didn’t love him with all I had . It was the fact of coming home and just sleeping all the time or playing on his phone on the couch and it hurt because that made me feel alone and that my son was the only one I had so often. That him asking if we could go to a dinner and movie seemed pointless because other than going out to do that or go to the bar which I didn’t care for, he couldn’t spend just some time at home with us alone. It wasn’t good enough for him

LivLife 02/20/2018

I think it is time for him to have a separate bedroom.
I did that with a friend in one day. We moved it all.
You need your space so you can start to concentrate on you.
Then write up a list of what he has to contribute. ..house and child help.
Because no one is going to take care of you except you, so you now have to stand up tall and dont back down.

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