Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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never thought it would be so hard

rose77
rose77
I never thought it would be so hard to get rid of him. I caught him talking to women on the computer and the cell phone and this is cheating to me anyway, and more so because he would not stop, even when he got caught. This meant more to him then I did. he did leave finally for 5 mths and stupid me believed him when he said he stopped and I let him move back in. Of cause he didn't stop what I did find was all numbers from out of state, but who knows. I did find in his wallet a receipt for two pieces of jewelry for $100 bucks each, but he could have mailed it to them. He had once claimed they were his friends, must be really good friends for that price. Anyway I am done I want out of the marriage, but he wont leave and I also found out it costs so much money for a divorce. It is so hard to just get rid of someone even when they are the ones who did you wrong.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so sorry for that ugly discovery. Betrayal, infedility, deceit, etc., is not your fault. It is his faults and do not let it tear your self-esteem away. You hang on to us and you will take one step at a time and got through the peaks and valleys of the death of a broken dream. Youare not alone and soon your pace will become a march. In the mean time, journal your pain, seek counseling, vent here and one thing for sure, we all understand even though sometimes we disagree. (((((((ROSE77)))))))
hurtinandhealin2560
hurtinandhealin2560
I'm so sorry he's betrayed your trust again. Most attornies do free first consultations. You might get some info that way.

As far as making him leave, when he goes to work, pack his bags, put them on the sidewalk, change the locks and he's out.

Hugs to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You need to get him out of the house again and stand firm. He's not going to change. He already proved it. As soon as you can, look into filing. Go to a lawyer and get a free consult. If you can't afford the divorce look into legal aid in your area. You are not going to be able to move on and be happy with your lilfe until the problem is gone.

(HUGS)
deleted_user
deleted_user
A separation agreement is the first step, and before that it is very important you learn about your rights. Nrmally one consultation is free with a community lawyer, you can start there. I just call any lawyers office in town and ask. In any case, a first consultation here if I am reffered by some public service, would cost me 25 dollars. I would start calling any lawyers office and explain your situation. They will refer you to what s public and you can call and see if you qualify and all that.

That is the reality of divorce, unlike dating, you can't just get rid in a phone call, sometimes it can take years. First things first, see a lawyer and see how you can kick him out of the house, or if you can, and what that means to your rights and the div process. Hang in there, as unfortunate as it is, you have to take your time and do your homework well on this because your future depends not only in getting rid of the crap, but in how you do it. Hugs
rose77
rose77
In NY where I am, and maybe other states too I can't get him out unles he leaves on his own. For me to do it I was told that I have to feel threatened, it does not have to be physical but I would have to provoke him where he is spiting mad. I then have to call the police have them arrest him and go to family court. The problem is that I don't want to do this in front of my kids and I am kind of scared to do this if I am alone in the house. I am going to look into the legal aid that might be a big help. I really at this point just want to be rid of him, but of cause I do need some finance so I need someone who will fight for me. Thank you all for being there it does help to know I am not alone.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Perhaps your local court house has a "divorce help center". If it's a simple divorce without children or property, you can do it yourself, if both sides are agreeable. I haven't read your profile so I'm not sure what is involved.

Betrayal is the worst, I think anyway. It robs you of self esteem and confidence. I'd have really preferred if my ex had said "this isn't working and before things get worse lets end this the best way we can". Instead he devastated me. I'm so sorry that you too are dealing with this.

(HUGS)
rose77
rose77
He is still in the house he now says that in Feb he knows someone in real estate and apt are opening up. I hope so I can't take the two personalities he has. I never know what his mood will be or what will set him off. It could be nothing that does it. We are going to see a mediator today, but I know there will be a problem because I brought up his pension and he does not want to even consider compromising on it. We are married 20 yrs so I should get at least half and I am willing to compromise on that I just don't want to end up with nothing I did put up with him for the 20 yrs. I hope the mediator works out I just want it to be over. It is sad that it had to come to this. I just wanted things to be different I just wanted a happy marriage.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so sorry. One day he will be gone, you will be feeling better and life will continue.

Keep going :(

The transition period is hard but it will end. He will leave. Don't make his life pleasant though. Ignore him.