Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So my boyfriend of a year and a half (both of our first loves) were soulmates/head over heels/ best friends. We have been in a long distant relationship for most of our relationship. Over the past four months roughly I noticed that he was distancing himself from me; talking a lot less, not as obsessed with me, and I always brought it up to him and his claim was that he wanted to focus on himself more and not have a relationship his first priority. I've been depressed for about four months now realizing that it was probably because of his lack of interest in me and me not knowing what I did where I went wrong. He told me he wanted to be on his phone less and stay busy. There would be times where he would go back to being his normal self and then it would go to a lack of Communication situation again. My boyfriend was never into social media which is something that I really admired about him- both of us being old souls we kept it old school. Then all of a sudden he got a Facebook account and didn't let me know he even changed his picture and just started adding a lot of people including girls I confronted him about this because I noticed that he liked a certain girls selfie and it crushed me. When I brought it up to him he nonchalantly said that he was just scrolling through his feed and was liking stuff. He and I got into another huge fight mainly me bringing up the fact that I thought that he wasn't caring about me as much and when I saw that he liked that girl selfie I told him to not contact me again I was furious. Then after me telling him that I noticed that he got an Instagram account and started adding his friends and girls on the account. (He followed a naked girl and liked one of her pictures) at that point my heart was completely broken and I did end up calling him and confronting him about it and it didn't end well he didn't really have much to say and I was so distraught that I barely remember the conversation. But that's the jist of the situation- what I find disgusting is that he tells me he wants to be on his phone less and then gets all the social media accounts which doesn't even seem like the guy I've known for the past year and a half and then intentionally hurt me by liking other girls pictures. I took the break up really hard and I've been depressed and suicidal because he was the main person I talked to on a daily basis and the lonliness is overwhelming. We've had no contact for days but he ended up texting me today saying "I miss you" "I don't want you out of my life" I just don't know what to make of all this and would appreciate other people's opinions or inputs while I've been wallowing in my sorrow and crying and barely able to eat he is continuously all up on social media (yes I can't help but stalk his stuff and I'm really trying not to because I know it hurts me in the end)
Be happy he's telling you upfront what he wants and doesn't want. Most people can't or don't do that, and it's one of the most important things in a relationship.
You can love someone very much and still not be able to be in a relationship with them. Two very different things. Especially if what the both of you want out of that relationship are different. Have you asked yourself why you want to be in a relationship with him? Why you want to be in a relationship at all? And more importantly, for every one of those reasons, WHY?
People change those reasons all the time, more so the younger they are. Priorities change just as often as life changes.
As far as the pain and loneliness and depression, that's all totally and completely normal. It just takes time to get past that connection not being there anymore. Your heart had a habit of that connection, and it's tough to break a habit that strong. But you can, and you will feel better. Take some time for yourself and learn from it.
And I have to be honest with you, and this isn't meant in any way to be disrespectful or hurtful, but it seems like you may have been coming across as clingy, needy, and jealous. I don't know if that had anything to do with his motivations or not, but most people don't respond well to those.