here is the background of my lovely story:
http://www.dailystrength.org/people/3039556/journal/6564780

So there is no way that me and this man will ever meet to close this chapter of our lives. He pretended he wanted to meet and then he says no, he loves playing these mind games.

I am so upset at the way he is behaved that i honestly don't want to do anything but kick him in his...you know what!

I have been more than patient trying to get him to see that even we do end up in a divorce, we do not have to be bitter with one another.

I have written this letter and have kept in my computer because i hoped one day i can say all these things to him in person, since that is never going to happen...i was thinking about send It it to him..

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK? SHOULD I SEND IT? SHOULD I BURN IT? OR SHOULD I NOT WASTE ANYMORE TIME ON THIS PERSON?

here it is, please excuse me if it too mean or too long :

I have debating whether to send you this email or not for sometimes, but now that I see us meeting up will never happen, it think it is best to send this as a goodbye. I dont know where to begin but to tell you that I am so disappointed by you. All those talks of loving me forever never hurting me, always staying by my side, being my best friend, you have broken every promise you have made to me. First off I want to apologize for all that I have done, hit you, the whole knife situation, I am so sorry for that because no matter what you did, no one ever deserves that, not even you. I am sorry for being spiteful, I was just in a large amount of pain in that moment and I wasnt thinking clearly. You say you have no idea why I behaved that way and my question to you is really James?
It is ok to be in denial of things that you have done, but when will you come to your senses? When will you realize that all that you have done is honestly pure evil? You try to replay everything in your head and try to find excuses for what you have done. It has worked for you thus far, and I am sure it will be something you will always do.
I dont know if I was extremely stupid, or if you were just an amazing liar. The affair you had for 3 years, I am still at awe with that. I cannot believe you were with someone else and still managed to plan a wedding with me?!!! Are you serious, how sick in the head you must be. You know, now that I think about that night that I found out, I remember when you came home, we talked and at some point you said I am sorry, I will see if I can go stay with my mom at that point I should have realized that you werent even planning to make things ok with me. You wanted out, and I wouldnt be surprised you planned this all along.
I wouldnt be surprised you are still with that girl. I guess that is your happiness and you are lucky to have found it. You just didnt have to drag me along like this and hurt me. We always talked about being honest with one another and never cheating on each other. I remember all those time I would cry and you would get so upset at me because I didnt trust you. How can you possibly have sat there, made me look like I was crazy and insecure while you were doing what you were doing.
I would of never done this to you. Meet with another man, take off my wedding band and lie about us? Lie about something that I was so proud to have, never. I dont know why you did because you will never admit to it. You are afraid of being labeled a cheater and that is why you have admitted to nothing. All I wanted was for you to admit you fucked up, you never did and I know you never will. I never expected you to be perfect, I knew marriage was hard work and that we were both imperfect, bound to make mistakes. But how can we have ever worked it out if you never admitted to it.
Perhaps it was my mistake to assume you wanted to be with me even though you cheated. I dont understand and I will never understand your train of thought. Not once did you feel any sort of remorse for what you did, do you feel bad about calling me names? Telling me I am worth nothing? Coming home at 6 in the morning, hiding $ from me, pushing my face away when all I did was try to talk to you? Not once did you wake up the next morning and apologize for what you had done the night before.
I know what I did was bad, and I tried to make up for it every single day, every single hour that I was with you, I tried to show you how much I cared and loved you and how much I regret what I did. That is EXACTLY what you should have done when I found out you cheated. Not once did I tell you let me know if you are going to get over this or not, because if no, then we cant be together. This has all helped me see who you truly are and how committed you really were. It is such a scary thought to even think that we planned on having children.
You want to go your merry way, as if I meant nothing, as if I dont deserve an explanation, then thats fine. You are a coward, and always will be. You are in denial my friend. Please seek help, you need it, trust me I am a professional. The only good thoughts and reminders that I have from you ismy car and the great furniture that I have. Thanks for nothing!