Its your babies special day...I would go FOR HIM. Taking the high road is always the way to go. Unfortunately, you are forever bound to this man through your children, so you are going to have to get used ti the idea of seeing him and his family at these kind of functions. Smile,nod, be your charming self...kill them with kindness....not just for your baby, but for yourself too. You CAN do this! I wish you the best...enjoy your babies every second you can!

He has the kids?

It's a birthday?

Then it's not about you kiddo, it's about them, and I am sure that they would want you there.

This, is what you signed up for when you had children. :o)

That is what I was thinking going at least for the weekend to be with them and enjoy the days.

I think it's all up to you. If you want to go, then go.

If you don't want to go, then no shame in just staying home.

Your son isn't old enough to know which day his birthday is on. You can totally make a cake and open presents with him, before or after the trip.

And you could always go visit friends and use the time for yourself.



(I had a somewhat similar situation, although it wasn't either of my kids birthdays, and I didn't go. I'm very happy with my decision.)

maybe you could go part of the time, but not the whole time?

I agree it is your son's day, it should be about him, cause he will only have 1 second birthday...... and if you can maintain a civil atmosphere by all means go. enjoy the time with your kids

I would be there for your little guy, he needs and wants you there. I know it is difficult but just focus on him and his happiness and you will eventually find it was worth it.

Shame on your in-laws if they try to make things uncomfortable, they ought to be taking a good, long look at what their son did to create this situation, not trying to make things hard on you.

It will mean everything to your little man if you are there for him.

I agree with Patti, due to the child's age....you could celebrate a different day. A two year old is not that aware.. Would I go on a trip with my in laws right now or even STBX? Hell no. It wouldn't be good for my healing and I might get strange ideas that things were going to be okay. But if someone else could go and separate their feelings and feel fine about it, I wouldn't judge them. Your choice here, like Patti said. There is no right answer, IMO. Think about how it would make you feel during and after the trip.

I don't think there is a right answer here. Does his family know what's going on? As awkward as you may feel about it, they will feel far more awkward if they know what's up.

If it were me, I'd probably go. Especially since you already paid for it. You like the beach and it's your son's birthday. Why shouldn't you go? As someone mentioned before, your son only gets one 2nd birthday.

Quick data point: When my wife led me to believe it was all going to work out after I caught her talking to the OM in March, we went on vacation in April that we had had planned since January, and celebrated my son's 3rd birthday in Florida. He loved it. I was on eggshells during parts of the vacation, but ultimately, I did enjoy myself. Parts of me was resentful, because I felt like she strung me along to go on that vacation, but my son had SUCH a good time, I am glad I had that time with him like that.

Maybe for a few days and ONLY because it's your sons birthday. Then again, he is only 2, so if it is really that uncomfortable for you, you could always celebrate next week. I don't know. I got a place at the beach next week. It was going to be a family vacation, but now only they will be going. I'm staying here. Sad. All of this is sad.

I'm learning that in life even the most carefully laid plans will fail and there is very little in life we have control over when it comes to external situations and factors. The only thing we have control over is ourselves and our attitudes and behavior.

You are dealing with your child in a situation that is far less than pleasant but as long as you keep your head up, stay positive, and maintain your integrity and dignity, I think you will be ok. If you truly believe in yourself and that you are a good person, no situation or people can change or take that away from you...ever.

Once you have a child, I believe that you must accept the fact that your needs, wants, and desires must take a back seat 99% of the time. Raising a child is the greatest responsibility bestowed upon oneself and raising a well adjusted, positive, and loving child can be downright difficult at times but hang in there.

Realize the reasons why sometimes it is neccessary to swallow your pride and move forward with your head held high. Just try your best to block out and repel negative energy and when it gets rough just say to your self, "Stay strong, do it for him".

Best of luck...for both of us.
Chad

I would cancel and keep the child for his birthday and have a blast. Don't torture yourself, is not worthed, or go by yourself and cancel him.
I had the grandparents over, but once I learned about the cheating, we stop doing anything together. He will bring his GF to this events, why continue? If the grandparents want to continue a relationship with you and you are ok with that(don't trust them, is their son) then do it without him.
Your son has his father, but you don't have him as a husband anymore. You have to share the son, but not you or your life.