What does God say?

I sent you a friend request if you want to talk. Our boats look fairly similar to me. My ex was abusive, and I'm getting a new place this week. We also co-own a business, so can't go no contact. I have few friends and no family, so I'm reaching out where I can. I can offer my honest opinion if you want one on the specifics of your situation. Divorce is hard.

ugh tcbi well I say a prayer for restoration of our marriage multiple times a day, I pray that he will soften our hearts toward each other, I pray that a door will be opened, I pray that we will be able to forgive each other, I pray that our hearts are healed, I pray a hedge of protection around our son and marriage....who am I to say that God is not working, He hates divorce and wants us to be fulfilled and happy. 25 years is such a long time to just give it up. I will let my guard down, put it in God's hands and meet them. I know it will make our son so happy, yesterday was especially hard for everyone. Say a prayer for us.

phoenixfel divorce and separation are hard, I have never even considered it before until I was presented with it in my lap. Owning a business together has been one of the most fulfilling aspects of our life and also one of the hardest. I am beginning to see that I had pushed God so far from my life thinking I did not need Him that He is also teaching me a hard lesson. As I approach 50, I began to think I know it all and let my faith fall to the side. I have truly done a disservice to my family as the spiritual head of it, they looked to me and I said who needs it. What an idiot I have been. I will try to make the needed repairs and also work on myself. I have been relying on this verse Daniel 10:12 "do not be afraid, since the day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before God, your words were heard and I have come in response to them" I am praying for restoration and that we can find the right words to sooth the heartache we have both caused so selfishly. Everyday is new, we have to accept it good or bad, but our attitudes play such an important roll in it. I pray that we can all accept what we are being taught in life with open hearts and minds. That is the best any of us can do.

I don't think it is a good idea to involve your child in the marriage rebuilding/negotiation stage.

It it totally unfair to the child and a risk of manipulation as a pawn.

No thanks.

If she wants to speak to you one on one, then maybe, but with a clear understanding of what for.

Jim that is an excellent point. I appreciate your input. I have made appropriate arrangements.

I’m so sorry to hear that. Separation after 25 years of marriage is a hard thing to go through. I just said a prayer for you and your wife, asking God to bring healing and hope to your marriage. Have you ever considered talking with a counselor? Do you think that's something that might be helpful for you personally? Hope everything goes well with you. May He be the strength of your heart and your refuge. Hugs!

No, No, I'm sorry she's not saying that she wants you back. She's not saying that at all. (I was with my ex for 20 years also.)

If she changes her mind and wants to work on things...that's what she'll do. She'll call you and want to spend time with you...and just you. You guys can get a babysitter and talk.

What it sounds like is happening is that she's so over you, that she's fine being in your presence again. (Given enough time, most ex's can do this. It's been 8 years since my divorce, my ex moved back to town, and was waiting for his renters to clear out. He even stayed her a few weeks. My daughter really liked playing some games and eating together. BUT...it wasn't messing with anyone's heads that mom and dad were getting back together. He's now off at his own place...and life is back to normal.)

I KNOW this is hard. Oh how I remember how hard it was. BUT you will get over and through this. March, march, march, one step at a time. This is the hardest when you still see so acutely what you're losing and don't yet see what's around the next corner. But there IS a future, and it can be bright.

Hugs, Patti

Well Patti, all of this has happened in the last 3 weeks and our son is 17 years old and we have been together for 25 years. I happen to think it is not completely over, but you very well may be right. You have given me something to think about, but I can not just give up. I will approach these situations as they present themselves and take one step at a time.

Patti had a great point, one I experienced. When I was in turmoil and waiting by my phone for my ex to text or whatever ...she told me during a call she had no problem talking to me and felt fine...because she was soooo done. That stuck with me..she had planned on it for so long she was already healed. It's taken me over 2 years to catch up but I did.

Well I really wish she would say she is done or not. This limbo is draining every ounce of energy out of me.

You will eventually come to a point where you either accept this behavior or don't. Believe me I know the stress of what you're experiencing. Walking on eggshells, trying to "show" her you can be that person she fell in love with before etc ...it's not fair to keep you "on the back burner"..for your own sanity I hope it gets resolved one way or the other..take care