Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
OK, so today would have been day 3 of NC, but he emailed me. Said he had mail for me. Most likely bills he knows I can't pay. I emailed him back to tell him to open it and if it's not important just throw it away.
When he left me he left me broke and newly unemployed. (I quit my job to move here with him) so he continues to pay my bills until I can find a job. I was planning on going to school full time, but I hit a roadblock, so now that's going to have to wait another 5 months. Till then I'm looking for a job. And I tell you, there's not much out there, I REALLY don't wanna go flip burgers, but my options are dwindling..... but maybe that won't be so bad cause I won't feel so guilty when I quit to start school in June......
When he left me he left me broke and newly unemployed. (I quit my job to move here with him) so he continues to pay my bills until I can find a job. I was planning on going to school full time, but I hit a roadblock, so now that's going to have to wait another 5 months. Till then I'm looking for a job. And I tell you, there's not much out there, I REALLY don't wanna go flip burgers, but my options are dwindling..... but maybe that won't be so bad cause I won't feel so guilty when I quit to start school in June......
If you're going to get overly emotional each time he contacts you, you need to stop reading the emails and taking the calls. You DO have some control here. It's not all up to him.
From what you have posted in the past about your relationship with him I can't help but feel you are being led on. If he wanted to be with you, he'd be trying and not giving you a bunch of excuses as to why you can't be together.
I think he tried to make it work with you and the relationship didn't turn out to be what he thought it was going to be. I think he knows he doesn't want to pursue a future with you but is having a hard time adjusting to being alone and hasn't found a replacement yet, so he contacts you now and then when he's lonely.
Don't get caught up in the push-pull of this time with him. If you want to be with him, send him a short note detailing what you would like him to do to make that happen. Otherwise, tell hi that he need not contact you anymore.
I hope you can stop hating me someday, although I don't blame you.
I don't hate him. I never did. I don't even resent him. What do I do? DO I just ignore him? Is there a motive behind it?
you should not have to respond to any emails from him....
if he is getting your bills, then you need to have them forwarded to you or just let him throw them out ...
I think it's time for you to stop reading the messages. Make them go directly to your spam folder and delete without reading.
I only responded to the one about the mail, if he shows up at my doorstep I wouldn't have any will power to push him away. One look and I melt. I ignored the one about me hating him.
SongInMyHeart, I have been honest here about my wanting to reconcile and trying to work towards that, (and I have explained the situation in previous posts) then flipping out on him in an emotional breakdown/rage. (which, as strange as it may seem, was our first fight.) At which point we mutually agreed that we should let each other go. That was three days ago.
I am not in denial that I still love him with all my heart and that the pain of him actually being able to keep the NC going would be hard, but I also know it's the only way to move on. Because I know without a doubt that contact with him only makes me weak. That is why I'm even here. If I was in denial, I wouldn't be here.
I'm actually very proud of myself. It's been a week since I quit smoking and I'm starting to feel more emotionally stable. The fact that I remained to cool in my reply and the fact that I was able to NOT reply to other one is a HUGE accomplishment for me.
So I will congradulate myself! :)