Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Some people are just really shallow and i have no time for them, i could and would not be with someone like that.
My ex was stunning btw, absolutely the most beautiful girl i have met, both objectively and subjectively. But what i will miss about her are our talks, playing games, watching movies together, writing our novel etc.
Sure attraction is important, looks are important, but we all lose them in the end and then you would be left with a bitter and mean person.
From your description, your ex actually sounds like an unintelligent, self absorbed, superficial moron. Be happy that you are not with someone who will drop you when your looks start to go, or if you start wearing the wrong kind of clothes.
Sorry, i just really hate people like that.
He made me feel like the most amazing woman in the world. He constantly told me I was beautiful, that I was his angel, that I had saved him. He proposed to me, told me he would do anything for me. He impressed my entire family. He would do things like walk old men down the street. He was an artist like me. We had virtually everything in common. He seemed to love animals, just as I did........
I didn't see these things as triggers or red flags because I was so blinded by all of the other seemingly "positive" qualities he had.....
Its been since months since he left me and broke my heart completely. He claimed I was insane, that he never meant a word he said to me including marriage or his love for me.
I have been trying my best to learn what happened to me or how I may have caused this relationship to end....
I have been looking into narcissistic abuse and psychopaths/sociopaths and how I may have been a victim of one.
Just trying to get as much feedback as I can so that I can recover form this.
Its funny....I hate people like that too. And if I had a friend who was dating someone like him I would tell her to run. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations we would never even imagine ourselves to be in.........I think he was just such a severe manipulator that I wasn't even able to see these things....
Now I do. And I want to heal myself as best as I can. Thank you for your response. I appreciate it and wish you a speedy recovery as well xx
Clearly I don't have all the answers but maybe I can offer you a little advice. Don't hurt yourself wondering what YOU did to end the relationship. It's not your fault. I try to remember this because it's easier to think that if we made the right moves then everything would be different now. But sometimes it's better to accept that we cannot control the actions of others. It ended because of him, for better or for worse. Maybe it was for better, you deserve someone kind and genuine and you will have that connection again, just now you will be more aware of red flags than before to help guide you.
Be strong and be kind to yourself
We will both get through this :-)
My ex was a narcissist and psychopath as well and he was constantly talking bad about other people. He was obsessed with his weight but not so much with his looks. He never talked badly about my appearance... And I am nothing to look at...very average and a little over weight. He constantly talked about co-workers looks, his ex's and how drunk was he during the whole relationship to do that. He would go to lunch with coworkers and take photos of people and send them to me about what they wearing, their weight, etc.
He was/is an extremely insecure man so he makes fun of others to make himself look better. I would hear him talk about people he never met (clients he had only talked to over the phone) and he would make a list if what all their physical flaws!!
He never said a negative word to me/about me until he left me. Then I was a disgusting, hideous whale and said not even my own parents would say I was pretty. He started calling me the dancing or beached whale...even in email correspondence he would send to the lawyers during our divorce process! He is obsessed with telling people I am a drug addict and that I am bi-polar and have been hospitalize by him and my parents many times (neither of these things are true).
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Here is a book that might be worth reading. Back when I first got it, it was available for free through Kindle, not sure if it still is.
Psychopath Free: recovering from emotionally abusive relationships with sociopaths, narcissist and other toxic people.
Hugs to you!
Only $2.99 now and worth every penny.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00BXSFBUC/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?qid=1404057728&sr=8-2&pi=SY200_QL40
Textbook narcissism.
Yet me told me I was amazing and beautiful and wonderful.
In the end actions speak louder than words.
I am so sorry for your pain.
He follows suit in that he is very concerned with his image and looks, Very charismatic, very charming at first, and made me feel like the center of his world in the beginning. He also is very manipulative, lies, Has no emotional intelligence, And is very self absorbed and selfish.
It has been very difficult to deal with and is extremely emotionally draining.
There's a secret group on Facebook called spouses of narcissists That I am a part of. I'm be happy to send anyone a link that is interested in joining.
I agree with Mark, some people are just very very shallow whether they are a true narcissist or not. It's sad.
You did nothing to make this man do what he did. The fault is with him. Never blame yourself for what an N does.