The theme I have found is that once a cheater always a cheater. Some on rare occasions have managed to pull it together, but it takes both to do it. For me the lying was something I could not take. When it happened again that was it for me. You have to decide what is best for you and your child. What I can tell you is that whatever choice you make, will be very hard. It can get the best of you. So take your time and be prepared. Good luck, oh and Im sorry.

Is there any way I can ever trust him again? He wants to work on us, but I think he really just needs to work on himself. It shows an immense lack of character to sneak away when someone's loved one is dying. I am struggling with these partly because of fear of being alone, and hesitance to have my son come from a divorced home.

Thank you for your kind response. Even though I do t know you, I feel your support. I think I struggle with what to tell friends and families, especially as we already have several things planned over the holidays. Do I just cancel? Tell him not to come? I am so lost.

Your child is the priority here. Don't get me wrong, it's also a huge priority -- essential -- to cut things off with your husband, who has clearly made his decision to be a malignant tumor in your life. You have break it off in a way that will minimize trauma to your child. You will get over this and be better off without him, but make sure your child is kept away from the ugly stuff. It's scary to sever ties with someone you used to love, but it will brighten your life.

Will you ever be able to see him walk out of the door doing just regular stuff (going to the store, going to the job) and not have any kind of pang or thought that he potentially might cheat?

I wouldn't. I wish I could but I wouldn't.

It's not impossible to get to the place where you have complete and utter trust in your mate after cheating but it is a whole heap of a lot of work. Is he worth that work? Will it even work, the trust rebuilding project? I mean it's going to be a boatload of work and the outcome is not guaranteed.

I know I would not want to be in a marriage where I could not trust my mate 100% no matter what.

My personal feeling now is you should try through a mediator just so you will can say you tried. My feeling is it won't work because I'm not getting a good vibe of your husband (for whatever that's worth). He still has to move out and doesn't get to do the family stuff until he fixes his mess. But go ahead and try. Just don't get your hopes up.

Logancircle you make me smile, calling my husband out for being a tumor. Plus my son’s name is Logan, so already get good vibes. I think. Weedpuller, I think you’re right, I don’t think I can ever trust him again. I have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow who also happens to be a divorce mediator. I am hoping she has some good insight to help me find direction on where to even start.

I understand where you're coming from with him lying. My boyfriend has also lied to me for majority of our relationship. It hurts so much when they lie to us. I think at this point he's shown that he isn't going to change, and if there isn't any sign of change, I think it'd be best to walk away. You don't deserve to be lied to. Nobody deserves that. You deserve to be with someone who would do anything for you. Keep your head up.

I don't know how to say this politely, so I'll just come right out with it.

You're husband cheated once and you forgave him. Now he's cheated and it was important enough for him to fly to the person and take an uber to see her? That's what I'd a dedicated cheater, whose very comfortable cheating. If it was just friends, why not say so in the first place? You both know he's cheating and he a real dirt bag to do it while your father is dying in the hospital. I honestly don't know how you forgive something like this.

You worry about being alone. I say, you already are alone in many regards. You wonder if you can ever trust him again. Of course not. It's now clear you probably should have cut him lose after the first episode of cheating. As far as what to tell people. You don't owe anyone an explanation. How will you feel with him running around pretending everything is fine and making extra nice with all your friends and family? Will you get confused and start excusing and getting over his behavior, like you must have done the first time? I say kick him to the curb and move on.

You almost wrote out my story. After an ugly struggle, I have told my husband to move out last night.

This is also his second affair and I don’t see how he can change. Like what others have rightly pointed out, I don’t know how I can trust him in future.

I was also fearful of a lonely future and the impact of this on our son. But as pointed out by gutter, I have already been alone. Impact on son? I know that I do not want my son to grow up in a family of lies and deceit. He has witnessed too many tears and heartaches.

God bless you and may He grant you wisdom and strength.

Love yourself. Don’t allow him to continue hurting and cheating you anymore