Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I haven't been around here much lately. I have been very busy. To add to the Chaos I have now met a very nice lady and I am "talking" with her.
She seems to be very compatible with me so far. She is a few years younger than me but not too many. She is well educated, seems to have wonderful morlas and values, and just a great person to be around.
So far I have seen her four times in the last week. I saw her last Sunday for a date, Wednesday for a date, just a small visit on Thursday, and she swung by my work on Saturday just to pop in while she was going through the area. Since the second date we meet with a hug and a kiss and we leave with a hug and a kiss. I am supposed to see her tomorrow, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. We like to do a lot of the same things and we have a blast when we are out together. She has told me that she is interested in me but she wants to take things slowly, which is probably a good idea.
I have caught myself being a little nervous at some things and I know that these are things that I have to learn to regulate. After the bad marriage I survived through it is time to relearn old habits and not make the same mistakes again.
I am still watching for red flags with her and I have seen none. Truthfully, I am kind of hoping that things develop because they are going so well.
Dating and relationships are so very funny. It is hard to tell where one ends and where one begins. It is my intension to move towards the relationship. When does dating turn into a relationship? When does someone go from a date to a girlfriend or boyfriend? I am wondering those things. It is too soon to talk to her about these things but she knows my intentions and she is still hanging around so that is a good sign.
No....we have done nothing else but kiss and hug. I want to keep that way for a while to show her that I care about her and I am not after one things. When it happens it will be when the time is right, if it happens. Still, I can't help but imagine what it would be like to actually be loved for the first time in years (and the physical stuff would be nice too).
I have also been working out a lot again.
I will try to drop in from time to time and say Hello, but I probably won't be on here as much as I use to.
She seems to be very compatible with me so far. She is a few years younger than me but not too many. She is well educated, seems to have wonderful morlas and values, and just a great person to be around.
So far I have seen her four times in the last week. I saw her last Sunday for a date, Wednesday for a date, just a small visit on Thursday, and she swung by my work on Saturday just to pop in while she was going through the area. Since the second date we meet with a hug and a kiss and we leave with a hug and a kiss. I am supposed to see her tomorrow, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. We like to do a lot of the same things and we have a blast when we are out together. She has told me that she is interested in me but she wants to take things slowly, which is probably a good idea.
I have caught myself being a little nervous at some things and I know that these are things that I have to learn to regulate. After the bad marriage I survived through it is time to relearn old habits and not make the same mistakes again.
I am still watching for red flags with her and I have seen none. Truthfully, I am kind of hoping that things develop because they are going so well.
Dating and relationships are so very funny. It is hard to tell where one ends and where one begins. It is my intension to move towards the relationship. When does dating turn into a relationship? When does someone go from a date to a girlfriend or boyfriend? I am wondering those things. It is too soon to talk to her about these things but she knows my intentions and she is still hanging around so that is a good sign.
No....we have done nothing else but kiss and hug. I want to keep that way for a while to show her that I care about her and I am not after one things. When it happens it will be when the time is right, if it happens. Still, I can't help but imagine what it would be like to actually be loved for the first time in years (and the physical stuff would be nice too).
I have also been working out a lot again.
I will try to drop in from time to time and say Hello, but I probably won't be on here as much as I use to.
I like your attitude about dating. Hope something similar works out for me some day, but I'm not worrying about it for now.
Take care & good luck!
I will say you are doing good in the dept of moving slow, sort of. Lots of dates is fine, seeing each other, visits etc. Just keep your feelings in check, let them advance but not race away from you.
As far as the relationship, give it a few weeks imo, have some fun in the meantime, let her know your feelings and when you think the time is right, ask to move it to a relationship. In the end you will know the timing of it, but just make sure your head isnt being tricked by your heart.
Best of luck to you.
You seem calmer, more at peace. That's good.
Good luck with your new lady friend. I wish you the best.
Hugs!
She has a master's degree and she is about ready to start a new and promising job (she was already in a a very good job though). She is accepting of my past as I have been VERY open about it from the get go. I didn't go into extreme detail and I have gotten to the point where I can rap it up in a short version...LOL. The other part is she is very pretty!. She has lost about 80 pounds, so she says, and she did it by working out and running. She is very inspirational and it is at a good point in my life as I am back on the workout train (been going at it hard for 6 weeks).
I do get nervous from time to time. I keep waiting for everything to fall apart because of the way my luck has been in the past. In a way, this is a very good test of my new life. My self confidence is healing but it still needs some boosts once in a while.
She has a sweet side. After the first date she texts me one night and asks me to text her before I went to bed to say goodnight. Last night is the first night that I haven't spoken to her before I went to bed (I call every night because I told her that she was too good for a text). The first time she said that my heart melted a little. It was very sweet.
She has said that she is not as affectionate as I am. She said that it isn't because she isn't interested and she told me to give her time and let things go slowly. She asked me to be patient for her. I told her that I was really happy with where things are now and she was worth the wait. It is also obvious by some of her actions that she is interested.
I do catch myself trying to tag up once in a while because I just want to make sure I am not screwing up. I did ask her once if I was putting too much pressure on her and she said no. It is hard for me as all my relationships in the past started off like a lit match thrown in a vat of gasoline.
Oh well, I still worry that I am just going to end up back here but how do you gain ground......You walk forward, uphill, and scratch and claw your way to the top.
Oh well, this is for you, and for all of us still waiting and hoping for that special someone to come along too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYKJuDxYr3I