Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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mariel83 05/01/2013

I heard from a common friend that my husband is not doing good at the moment. He is suffering from major depression. I want to reach him out but I dont know if it is good for him. His decision seems final on his side although we didnt have a closure as I was blindsided. We havent contacted each other (as he requested) since he filed for divorce. :( I have a lot of good memories of him and I feel very sad for him at the moment. He was nice to me. It just could not work out because of the distance.

deleted_user 05/01/2013

As hard as it is for you to do, keep abiding by his decision of no contact. I broke it once to deal with a crisis, then resumed it immediately after and made it crystal clear that I was not to be part of the ongoing healing process. No regrets in breaking it though.

mariel83 05/01/2013

Yes it is very hard. I feel very anxious of this no contact but I believe that it is also good for me.

deleted_user 05/01/2013

Also, I think if he would have wanted you involved, he would have reached out. Keep that in mind as well.

deleted_user 05/01/2013

Hi mariel: Remember that he doesn't have your back and that's why you two are separated. He has to deal with his own problems alone and he created his problems.

Tell your common friend that you don't want to hear tales about him any more. It is no good for "friends" to be running to you with tales about him. Get that stopped right away. Because they'll also run to him with tales about you.

deleted_user 05/01/2013

Yep - it's his life to deal with. You aren't together anymore and it's not your position to help him with his issues anymore.

mariel83 05/01/2013

Thanks. I still very attached to my stbx. But you're right, I should protect myself first.

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