Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It feels absurd to still be going through this, after so long. But I see that a lot of you are at that point too. You are all clearly caring people and maybe that is why we are here, and THEY are not.
I realized that truly what made me push him away has always been my need to fight to get his attention. I got done fighting for it and ignored him and did other things. And he pushed me away because I did not give him attention when he needed it, and he needed it 24/7, and gets it from work and his music career. But he only would seek me when it suited him and he could find 15 minutes a day. That's not a marriage.
Then I began to make a mental list of the other women who have caused me pain, because of him, and how he interacted with them....
not sure how many he slept with, probably not too many but that was always their goal and he disrespected me in how he handled it.
I just need to write it out to feel better: Dawn, Maryanne, Linda (bitch),the bartender at the country store, Norma Jean (who I thought was my friend but wanted into his pants), the women who approach him at gigs and give him their phone numbers, and I sat through that more times than I can count. Rebecca. And a few of the blues dancing women. This is the short list.
I have felt disrespected way too long.
I realized that truly what made me push him away has always been my need to fight to get his attention. I got done fighting for it and ignored him and did other things. And he pushed me away because I did not give him attention when he needed it, and he needed it 24/7, and gets it from work and his music career. But he only would seek me when it suited him and he could find 15 minutes a day. That's not a marriage.
Then I began to make a mental list of the other women who have caused me pain, because of him, and how he interacted with them....
not sure how many he slept with, probably not too many but that was always their goal and he disrespected me in how he handled it.
I just need to write it out to feel better: Dawn, Maryanne, Linda (bitch),the bartender at the country store, Norma Jean (who I thought was my friend but wanted into his pants), the women who approach him at gigs and give him their phone numbers, and I sat through that more times than I can count. Rebecca. And a few of the blues dancing women. This is the short list.
I have felt disrespected way too long.
Hang in there.
He and I are not living together which is good except for the $ end of things.
I can see online that he as 5-6 gigs in 4 days and I can imagine how pumped up he is over that fan attention.
But at the end of the day you are just a person, a spouse, a lover, a caretaker, a partner.
The second you lay that mic and harp down and haul your equipment out and get into your car, you are nobody diffrerent than me. Laying in bed waiting for you, which I am well over. The night he called from the road at midnight and said he hit and deer and the car was wrecked, that shoulda been my sign. That and many others.
i don't know if you know the song "She Believes in Me" by Kenny Rogers. But it basically is a man saying how he stays out late, being the musician. and his wife is waiting faithfully at home for him. well my stbxh LOVES this song. but when i really listen to it, and read the lyrics, it makes me overwhelmingly sad. i have my own goals, my own dreams. we have a child. i don't want to spend my life being the woman he neglects, but he thinks I'm so great cuz I'm always just right there, waiting for him. maybe that makes me a bitch. but that's the reality of it. i want a life. i want a marriage. i want a family. i don't want to be the stay-at-home comfort for a man who's real priority is his band and his music. let the groupies have them, i say..