I can't imagine how painful that must be, especially when you're still living with the person. Divorce hurts like hell and I can only say that empathize with your hurt. My wife just left me just about two months ago, after being together 6 years. I ask myself like you how I'm going to get through this as well. I moved of the apartment we shared, and I can say it's a step in he right direction. I hope it helps you as well. It's hard with divorce because you feel like no one else can relate, unless they are going through this. The times i've felt the best is talking to people who are going through it or have gone through it.

Truth Is I don't believe we can make someone love us, they either do or they don't. I supported my wife all these years through a lot of tough situations, and in the end she left me anyway. She told me I deserve better even when I just wanted her. She didn't love me enough to fight for our marriage, and left me after feeling confused for only 8 months. I asked myself so may times how I could get her back.It didn't take me long to realize she didn't want me back. We can't make people love us no matter what we do.

If you gave your husband your all and he didn't give that back or neglected your effort in the marriage, then like my wife they didn't deserve us. It doesn't make it any easier to know that but I think it's that first foothold to climbing the mountain and building ourselves back up.

You'll get through this, I'll get through this we just have to keep fighting.

the pain is unbearable,
and it lasts for a long time
then it starts to get better
i'm not going to bullshit you
it lasts
then it starts to get better

you make it through

if you are like me, you'll read this and think " what does he know?, it is different for me" or something like that

if you are like me, you'll feel worthless because it was so easy for him to cast you aside

DON't fall for that bullshit
hang in there, it will get better

a question,


did he ever try to make you happy?

I am currently living with my soon to be ex till our divorce is over , he wants to end it after 23 years , I know what your going through.... It's mixed feeling and just generally deep sadness, I realized though when he told me he wanted a divorce that there was no saving it m somehow in my head I said to myself I deserve better than this . It hasn't made the pain any easier to bear . You have been doing this for a long time , for me it's been two months. All I can say to you is what I say to myself , even though he is the one moving out , I say you will make your new home your home, only yours where you can relax and have peace . Living with someone you Love who wants to leave you is torture . When it is all said and done , it will be better . Stay strong .

I meant even though my husband is moving out *

I am sorry for the pain this has caused you, divorce is not fair, especially if you still love your spouse. Some times it is too easy to completely blame ourselves for the breakup and stop seeing the truth.
Some people have an easy time discarding something we hold dear and get good at transferring guilt based on things they have done. Don't buy into it or give it credence, own what you have done and make him own his mistakes. I pray that you find these words from your friends here encouraging and have the strength to carry on!

Oh my gosh, how comforting each and everyone of you that responded and May God Dearly Bless you because you didn't have to reply or respond, but I thank God there is this support forum/group. No one knows the pain unless they are experiencing and going through it, it's tragic and it does hurt like hell. I am such a fool still grasping at straws and so pathetic hanging onto every word he says and believing there is hope, I admire each and everyone of you for your words of strength and encouragement, this isn't my first divorce but i loved him more than anyone I have ever been with, I loved him more than myself, I felt the pain of divorce before as I said I have been divorced before but this has/is destroying me. Thank you all again so very much for your very kind words of wisdom and encouragement

prikipker, you said something that made me reflect back on myself, I have been grasping at straws myself, hanging on her every word or her every action, hoping it would be a sign that she was changing her mind.
Through the support of friends and family, I have come to the conclusion, that I need to accept that she has made a decision, and to not inject hope into every word or action because I want it to be the sign I want so badly. Since I have been working to not put hope into everything, I have found it easier to start thinking about taking care of myself through this. I encourage you to starting thinking about your well being through this and to start thinking about your future.

I am so sorry for your pain, your loss. *virtual hugs*

My boyfriend of over a year just broke up with me and though I know it pales in comparison to your situation... do know that I am also despairing, going through the loss of a best friend and what I thought was going to be a keeper/ the love of my life...I feel an incredible pain. I also don't know how I'm going to deal with this.

I find I can't try to understand why or what I could have changed. I think you should focus on yourself. Know that the pain won't always be this bad. Know that someday the pain will fade, little by little. It will happen. It's a small light at the end of the tunnel, but it is there...

In the meantime, you have us,. From one broken heart to another...it'll be ok. It's not good right now, I know. Reach out and start with some self care, and maybe set up an appointment to see someone.

My sincere gratitude and deep appreciation that you took your time out of your world when you didn't have to, to reach out and comfort me and believe me, your responses mean the world to me, God Bless You for being the people you are, please always keep being the people/person you are because it is very far and few in between that people will reach out and touch someone with their words. You have lifted me up and touched my heart and I am so very greatful. You have and are making a difference in someone/others lives, you are touching mine when it's falling apart and you know where I am and what I am feeling
Hugs and Hugs for your inspirational words and advice and for Caring about someone you don't even know

Prikipker, your words of gratitude are comforting as well, I am glad that we have been able to help in this difficult time. I pray you soon find peace and comfort in your new home!

Hi Prikipker,

Just want to let you know that his forum is a great place to vent and let out your feelings because everyone on this forum has gone thru the same or similar situations that you are going thru. People understand how you are feeling and it helps to talk to people that really understand.

i have survived through all you are experiencing....and the searing endless pain

it takes a LONG time.....but does start to get better

I now enjoy my life and believe in the future.....and have new love