Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So after me and my ex broke up I wrote him a letter saying that I'm willing to work on things and compromise if he is also. He got in touch with me yesterday and wanted to talk. We went out to dinner and he told me is that he just wants to be alone and does not want a relationship but he still wants to see me and not cut me out of his life since we have a great time together and a great connection. As the evening progressed he got more affectionate. I asked him what exactly is he looking for and he said to me he loves me he is still attracted to me, etc etc but he doesn't want commitment. He said he doesn't want to date multiple women its the fact that he wants to feel free and have no one to answer to. So in short he wants my company, wants to take me out on dates and have sex but no obligations or expectations. As far as me I don't know what I want. I came to the conclusion that I need to focus on myself when we broke up. On one hand yeah we had a great physical connection and having him close by makes it convenient but I was devastated when we broke up. I wanted to be in a relationship. We got to his place last night after the dinner and it was clear he wanted to sleep with me and so did I but my conflicted emotions didn't let me take it further so I walked away. I'm still conflicted.
deleted_user
you have to think if you want a relationship with someone that will never amount to anything. if you can accept that then keep him around. if you want more than just friends with benefits then move on and let him go ~ if he is really meant for you then he will committ but it doesn't sound like it.......don't be a booty call. sex is good and all but it will leave you feeling used and lonely. leave him be if you want more than what he is offering ~ think of your feelings and what you want and not his
deleted_user
Do you want to settle for this type of "relationship?" I have been trying to do the same thing. He says he will never be "with" anyone but he also doesn't want me out of his life, he wants to be the really good friends that we are and yes we can have sex sometimes too (not sure if that means when I want it or just when he does! I didn't ask). I have tried to remain his friend and settle because I was thinking that in my situation I should take what I can get and just be happy. He said that being really good friends is better than being committed to each other. I am there for him and he is there for me. So far that has been all one sided. I have also still been hurting this entire time, I am not happy. It could work if it is what both people want. I think that you deserve more and I get it that as long as I am wasting my time with him I am not moving forward and I am not going to be open to meeting someone who wants the same things I do. Do what works for you to find the happiness that you deserve.
deleted_user
He wants a f**k toy? tell him they make plastic dolls for that. Don't do this to yourself. You are worth more than what he is offering.
deleted_user
i think you need to figure out what you want and stick to it. if you dont mind getting the sex/intimacy from him without a commitment and know he isnt going to change (KNOW he isnt going to change) then go for it. if you want to focus on you then do that. i wouldnt approach him again until you are more certain of what you want- because since he isnt commiting to you, its not about what he wants anymore. focus on you. best of luck.
Join the Conversation