Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
my boyfriend and I recently have been arguing almost every day, he’s became close friends with girls that hate me. A few months back my social media got hacked and our personal messages got sent about and since then we’ve been in a terrible place in our relationship, he blames me for it as it was my (ex) best friends that had done it, id lost all my friends and since then it’s just been me and him, until he made a new group of friends, which all of them dislike me, I have depression and severe social anxiety and was diagnosed after the hacking had took place, he told his best friend that I had been getting jealous of his female friends and his best friend told his entire close group of friends (about 15-20 people) and they all put me in a group chat and said horrible things about me, for the past few months he has been treating me like I mean nothing to him, calling me useless, a stupid bitch etc. And then the other day told me he doesn’t know if he loves me anymore or if he wants to be with me, so I went to his lastnight to talk about us and he said we could sort everything out which I’d never been happier to hear something he’s said, so after that I was so happy, then we went to sleep and when we woke up he told me to go home, so he walked me to the train station (the last train) and because I’d been so upset and having the worst anxiety/panic attacks i threw up on the way there and I missed the train, which he went completely mental at me for calling me a stupid bitch again, because he was going out with his friends (who all hate me) half of which are girls that all talk about me so he left me in his house myself while he went out and had fun without me, today he had been telling me how miserable and unhappy I make him, which broke my heart even more than when he told me he doesn’t love me anymore, I was too upset to say anything and he said to me “it’s called depression, get over it” because he doesn’t understand what it’s like, no matter how much we fought or argued I would never leave him or treat me the way he has lately, because I love him and always will. But now I have no idea what to do with myself, I’m depressed, heartbroken, I can’t leave the house and I have nobody, he was the only person in my life I could trust until recently, but I can’t let go of us because of the amazing memories and how he make me feel for the most part, I’m lonely and he was my best friend, somebody please help me
Your boyfriend is being abusive. Name-calling is not what you do to someone you love. I think you need to cut off all contact with him and all these other people, immediately. Eventually they will find someone else to pick on. Take care of you and only you for a while. And don't worry about hurting him. Just take your power back and cut him off. Actions, not words, will show him he cannot treat you like a doormat.
I think depression gets worse around this time of year, because of the holidays and the darkness. Were you put on meds when you got diagnosed? Please at least talk to a therapist.
"I’m the type of person that will believe someone’s a good person no matter how horrible I’ve been treated and I can’t help that." I know you are only 17-years old, but you can definitely help doing that. Let me lay out the facts:
Your boyfriend is a ass hat. Nice guys don't call girls names, scream at them or go mental. They just don't. Get your head around the fact that he's an awful person.
You are working very hard at making yourself his victim. I can't imagine why you are doing this to yourself. Maybe you don't know any better, you had poor relationship dynamics modeled for you growing up, or have mental health issues.
Everyone has good times in a relationship. When the relationship goes bad, you don't just hang on forever hoping for some more good times even when he's actively telling you that he prefers the company of other women and you make him miserable and unhappy. He tried to drop you off at the train station and when that didn't happen, he went mental, dropped you at his place and went out with other people without you. Let that sink in for a minute.
You act like he's the only man on the planet. He's not. He's just one very immature man who's fed up with all the drama, which is funny cause he generates as much as you do.
You're to young to be caught up in all this chaos and neither of you are mature enough to be in a serious relationship.
Someone told me that I'd go through a good half of dozen guys just like him before I finally settled down. I though they were stark raving mad. But guess what? They were right. It'll be the same for you. You just don't see it yet.
I worry about all the mental acrobatics and stress you are putting yourself through by insisting you 'can't let go' when he's asking you to and you clearly can let go but you just don't WANT to let go. I thinks he's being nice right now (for him anyway), but if you keep trying to keep him in place, he's going to kick you right in the face in a really bad way. When that happens you are going to feel ten time worse than you right now. This breakup pain is manageable, getting kicked hard by someone you care about is the kind of pain it takes therapy to overcome. You can't ever go back, baby girl, you can only go forward.
I told him I was leaving. He said 'why"?
I said 'why would I hang around with some guy that makes me feel shit, when I can go and find some guy who will make me feel good?'
I mean, really. Why.
Would you rather have ANY boyfriend than no boyfriend? It's looking like you're absolutely scraping the bottom of the barrel for boyfriends and hanging on with this giant twat because you don't want to be single. Do you like crying? Is it your favourite thing to do? Don't you prefer laughing, and being petted, and bought things, and complimented?
You can't meet Mr Right if you're farting about with Mr Wrong.
Time to pull your head out. I'm sure you'll feel 1,000 times better when you give lover-boy the kick.
Make damn sure you do it before he jumps, because he's very close to jumping. He's got no respect for you and sorry to be harsh - but neither do you.
You know what? That is OK. It is OK to be by yourself for a while, take a break from him, and do the things you love. You WILL make new friendships. You're still young. I hope you're thinking about college and career plans. Maybe someday you and he can be back together, but he'll respect you a lot more if you stop clinging.