Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hard to believe it's already the middle of July and 3 months since I left my ex and moved out of our home. Overall, I think I'm making progress, but I still have bad days along with the good ones. It's a long hard road and I keep moving forward, hoping one day I'll wake up and it will all be behind me. I try hard to keep my head up, but it is not easy. I'm doing better with the anxiety, but insomnia comes and goes, and the negative thinking is hard to challenge at times.
I haven't heard from the ex in a few weeks, which is a blessing and also painful at the same time. Sometimes I catch myself missing her, thinking of the good stuff. Coming across something funny and sharing it with the other. Sometimes I just miss the closeness that comes with being around someone you've known for years and years, the comfort and supportiveness that provides. But I remind myself of all the bad stuff, all of the emotional abuse, constant criticism and put downs, walking on egg shells, and why I really had no choice but to leave.
I try not to worry, about myself and what future I'll be able to find for myself, and also about her health problems. I often still wonder how she's getting along, despite the fact that things ended so as poorly as they did, that she often told me she didn't care if I lived or died. Detaching after 15 years doesn't happen overnight, even when the relationship wasn't good. Like many others, I also worry if I'll end up spending the rest of my life alone, thinking of what little I have to offer anyone at this point. Thanks for listening.
There is no quick fix or cure for this. It just really takes time. I'm 4 months out from my break up from a long term relationship and it's still a struggle. The empty feeling you have, the endless lonely void of the other person is hard. My split was mutual and on very good terms, so there was no anger just mutual love and respect - I recognize this is a good way to end things, but also very heart breaking.
You have a tremendous amount to offer - not only to someone else, but to yourself. It's so hard to think about getting into another relationship especially when you're still reeling from your last one. You deserve to live your best life and that right now may be solo. I am trying to focus on myself. Relearn what it is like to be me - what do I like? What are my hobbies? What do I want to do in six months, next year, five years? I lost myself in the relationship.
Yes, I miss him terribly and every day I have to resist the urge to contact him. But I know I am not alone (just found this site today) and I know I will be better. I don't want this heartache to be in vain, so I am determined to learn and grow from the experience.
Good luck on your journey!
Hopefully coming here to vent will help. It's helped me. There are no support groups in my town so I really appreciate this site.
Don't get me wrong I still love and care about my ex-wife. I too worry about her because it's more apparent to me(after my PsyD points it out) that's she has so many issues emotionally and psychologically that needs professional help, but she left me and prefer to live her life without me. And we need to accept that and be at peace on their/our decision to close this chapter of our lives.
As for being alone, people find their partners even the age of 70. I truly believe that some way and some how we write our own destiny. I'm scared to alone, but I also know that I have so much love to give. I'm sure you do too, so carpe diem!