Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Right now I am fuming mad....
I thought that the ex and I were being civil and that dealing with the different aspects of our relationship break up were going smoothly until now...
My ex owed money to me for the house and bills. He wrote me a check last Sunday to cover the bills, which I deposited right away. Thought nothing more of it....until today.
I get a call from him this morning, telling me that there is a potential that the check he wrote may bounce. I was civil about it and said that I would inturn call the banker and make arrangements so there was money in his account to cover the check and so he had a few bucks for spending cash.
When I get into work, I go online and view his bank account - $424 was spent last night at a strip joint!
Just so I am clear, I don't give a rats ass that he is going to strip joints now that we are separated - what bothers me, actually has me enraged is the fact that he would go through all his money and potentially bounce a check that belongs to me for bills on a house! I understand that he is 'living' (if that's what you call forking over all your money to strippers and living in the basement of your friends house) but shouldn't there be concern for his debts and what he owes in previous obligiations?
Why should I be left to be the responsible one, yet again? Why is it my responsibility to always have money on hand to cover for him? Why can't I be done with this garbage? It was bad enough during the marriage that I always had to pay the bills, buy the groceries, pay the mortgage etc, why am I still being forced to do it now???
Can anyone give me a piece of mind????
I thought that the ex and I were being civil and that dealing with the different aspects of our relationship break up were going smoothly until now...
My ex owed money to me for the house and bills. He wrote me a check last Sunday to cover the bills, which I deposited right away. Thought nothing more of it....until today.
I get a call from him this morning, telling me that there is a potential that the check he wrote may bounce. I was civil about it and said that I would inturn call the banker and make arrangements so there was money in his account to cover the check and so he had a few bucks for spending cash.
When I get into work, I go online and view his bank account - $424 was spent last night at a strip joint!
Just so I am clear, I don't give a rats ass that he is going to strip joints now that we are separated - what bothers me, actually has me enraged is the fact that he would go through all his money and potentially bounce a check that belongs to me for bills on a house! I understand that he is 'living' (if that's what you call forking over all your money to strippers and living in the basement of your friends house) but shouldn't there be concern for his debts and what he owes in previous obligiations?
Why should I be left to be the responsible one, yet again? Why is it my responsibility to always have money on hand to cover for him? Why can't I be done with this garbage? It was bad enough during the marriage that I always had to pay the bills, buy the groceries, pay the mortgage etc, why am I still being forced to do it now???
Can anyone give me a piece of mind????
I realize there may be some costs involved to you if the check going into your account bounced but next time I wouldn't bail him out. One of the reasons people behave like your ex is because other people pick up the slack for them. Their parents, their spouse, their friends. I'm not saying it is your fault...you're just doing what comes naturally to most of us, being responsible.
I would 1)make sure all your financial stuff is separate so you have no liability for his actions 2)tell him firmly that this is the LAST time you will ever bail him out and 3)If he does not meet his financial obligations to you - haul him back into court. In the long run, you are only making it easier for him to be irresponsible. Good luck.
My obligations to my family come first even after what she did and who she continues to have in my bed.
The account that is now 'his', use to be ours and I cannot remove my name on it until the mortgage is completely paid out (sometime in June when the sale is final) and therefore, if he bounces a check or anything, the bank will hold me 50% responsible and I cannot change that!
Secondly, the check he wrote to me was for $756 - he overdrafted his account by $30 due to his strippers! So, in theory, if I didn't pay the $30 today then the $756 would have been removed from my account and the money, minus the nsf which would be both our responsibility, would go back to his account and then to the stripper's g-strings.
I know it sounds wierd, but does anyone think I did the right thing by paying the $30.
Until today, everything was amicable - now, I don't even want to see him or deal with him again. I can't believe that some nameless whore (sorry) would be more important than our 7 1/2 years together.
I know what it is like to be the responsible one while he spends like crazy at the bar or whatever...it sucks.
I decided to check in about our 'joint' credit card today, since I now know he is having money troubles! And sure enough - he hasn't removed my name from it.
(History there is apparently I can't remove my name from the card because I am not the primary cardholder. So I have to wait until he chooses to remove my name - and everytime he racks up a charge, I am equally responsible)
The credit card company has sent him the paperwork in March (2 months almost to the day ago) and he has refused to complete it! In March when I spoke to the company, the only thing that I was able to do was freeze the account so no new charges where made on it - that made me feel bad because what if he got into money troubles and needed a credit card - so I didn't bother.
BUT today, of the gloves are off! I called the company back and requested that the card be frozen - until he takes my name off the account and I am informed of it. Until then, no credit option for him and I know he doesn't have other credit cards!
So, his bank account is empty and now he has no credit card either - is that wicked of me? or am I just protecting myself. I feel that I am just protecting myself.
I just got back from my girls weekend, and decided to check my bank account to make sure that I didn't go too crazy (I did, but not where money is concerned!) and by mistake, opened his bank account.
And even after talking about it, after 'correcting' the problem the first time - he went ahead and friggin did it again!!!! OMG - how could someone be this dumb??? and what's worse, is that he wrote a bad check for $4.22 - there will be an NSF charge of more than 6 times that amount! what a friggin loser - someone help me out here, please, how much a LOSER did I marry?
And I can't not worry about it, because my name is still attached to that account due to the mortgage! ahhh, so it affects me as well! and my credit rating..