Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Dragonflywishes 05/16/2017

My ex an I have a seriously broken-down communication, so we have been resorting to emails. This has helped but today he got so impatient that he started to respond so quick and with such anger. He told me he actually wished I was dead...now I have gotten through all my anger, bitterness, and resentment by giving it all to GOD. So that means I am free to just be; however, this barb did exactly what it intended to do...hurt me. And I cried for a few minutes, but then I rememberer that GOD has a plan for me, not to harm me...and he can't hurt me anymore. All of that anger he has toward me is not about me, it's about him.

Dandelion 05/16/2017

Good post. Thanks for the reminder as I'm dealing with some of the same emotions.

His anger is about HIM.

The more we consciously reroute our thinking, the faster we build up new neural pathways so we don't keep reliving the same things.

Because that's all it is. We've conditioned ourselves to react a certain way

sjs777 05/16/2017

you have so much strength, embrace it. you're on the right path, just don't get lost in his anger as he's trying to pull you into it as it would make his departure easier and justified in his mind. don't give him that

Dragonflywishes 05/16/2017

Thank you both for the encouragement.

sjs777 05/16/2017

to be fair, thank you, you're strength is inspirational

someday01 05/16/2017

This Day too shall pass.

kaykay19 05/16/2017

They seem to get angry bc they no longer have that control. Good For you for holding strong! I envy you! :)

SuZQ 05/20/2017

Great! Acknowledging God's control frees us from feeling controlled by others. God never wanted husbands, including out ex-'s, to control us, through demeaning us through their words.

Leslie Vernick's "The Emotionally Destructive Marriage" gives steps on how to do that and establish healthy communications. A healthy relationship has mutuality, reciprocity, and freedom. Even with our ex's, we should strive for that.

The next step for you might be changing your behaviors by changing your thinking and feelings to reflect God's attitude toward us and relationships. For example, when your ex says, "I wish you were dead" your thought might now be "I have tried to have good communication and I do not deserve to be treated that way. Yet, I do not have to be revengeful." Then your non-defensive response might be "I am hurt by your comment and wish we would develop good communication because we coparent. The next time you do say something like that, I will leave the room or ______".

Praying for your situation today and that there might be new communication patterns for you and your ex.

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