Second by second. That's how.

Even then? He'll trip through it on occasion and it SUCKS. But it happens.

I am going through a similar situation. Been divorced for 9 years. Did the smart thing and decided to start dating about 3 years ago....it has not gone well or as I had hoped. Met someone about a year ago things were going well until a month ago and I was told he wanted a break. He is separated...he saihe needs to focus on the divorce. Said its temorary but i dont belive that and treating this as a breakup. I cant seem to shake him or maybe its the fact of another failed relationship that I cant accept. I am usually the one dumped. Its devasting to self esteem. I am 49 and feel like I will never find a partner. I dont know how you get them out of your mind but I feel like I can relate to what you are going through. Today im pissed....im angry that he did this because we had a conversation about this happening in the beginning of our relationship. I think its only time thatwill help but the thought of putting myself out there again is scary and I feel right now that Im tired of getting hurt but at the same time I'm lonely. Im sorry we are both going through something similar and pain....hugs to you and I guess we dont have a choice this is what we were given to deal with.

When he pops in my head I try to turn the focus on his negative qualities...then in my head I say stop and I put all thoughts in a closet and close the door. Advice from my counsellor....its not easy though.

You say all this was in the works for awhile and you call him your best friend????
I think you better find a new name for him
I know you are in pain and this is a horrible time for you.
I do predict in the future when you are with a nice person, you will look back and be ssssssssooooooooo grateful that you are not with that loser any more. It is a very good thing the snake left and now you can get on with your new life and end up with someone who deserves you!!!!
Put your focus on you and your new future. Make a list of the stuff you like to do best and do those things, even if it is a bubble bath or a walk, movie, good book, shopping ---anything you enjoy.
I wish you luck.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))

I feel sorry for her. Does she know he was with you? Yikes. That probably won't last. You dodged a bullet on this one. I know you loved and miss him, you can't stop your emotions, but it helps if you think about the things he did to hurt you. After a couple of minutes, you won't be missing him so much. Worked great for me

Gem, AMEN! *like!*

I'm confused. Are you saying the man you were involved with for four years was married to another woman while you were seeing him? And that you're hurt because he cheated on you... with his wife, and then left you for... his wife? Not judging, just confused...

I'm sorry you're hurting.

One rule I have in dating is simple and unchangeable: I will not date a man who is separated and in the process of divorce. The reason for this is exactly your situation--what happens if the man wants to reconcile with his wife? I've had men on dating sites get angry about my stand, but I don't care. In dating, you need to be selective and have a firm list of deal breakers, and this one for me.

I think you hit the nail on the head: I'm sorry to say this, but he did use you. You paid for everything and carried him. Never put yourself in such an uneven financial situation. My other hard and firm dating rule--the guy better be able to support himself and have his financial house in order.

When you are sitting and crying, remember this. He didn't treat you right. Keep telling yourself you deserve better because you do.

Sending healing hugs!

Reply#8 - love your answer - there's a time to offer empathy and a time of offer tuff love - this situation it's unfortunate but one of those where I will just say - we reap what we sow - a marriage is something we should respect - I don't care if the couple is having issues or not. We should treat others the way we want to be treated - if we are married we wouldn't like outsiders to step in - we are treated the way we allow people to treat us - here you dealt with a married man who you were supoorting - I am sorry that you ended up hurt - but you made your own bed. Get out there - face your grief, forgive yourself and others - and smile. Life is worth living no matter what :)

Best wishes to you :)

LMNOP - spit every time you feel like crying. It might help, might get the anger out.
He is and has been a piece of crap for years. - no loss for you - and you know that.
Sending you big hugs and hoping the sorrow in your heart moves through fast......
IF you feel like screaming - send me a text...