Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
First off, I'm confused.
During my divorce, I started getting serious with another man (ex from college) who had similar problems, and we didn't get serious until his wife filed. He asked me to marry him, etc. His wife called off the divorce, yet we still saw each other. Now he backing away, and because I keep asking what is going on, he seems to talk to me less. I know he and wife still aren't intimate. It also seems like he's dropping hints about divorce, but doesn't let me know what's going on.
Now, I have someone else calling me about a nasty divorce, just wanting to talk. He knows my ex (works with him), and when he was at my house doing some work, we just started talking about life and being happy. That was a while ago, but every once in a while he'll stop over, but mostly he calls, almost every day wanting to know what's up with the other man (they met once). He's interested in me, but at least he's open and honest about feelings for me, why he can't act on them. He knows the other man have our ups and downs, and he wants me to make him tell me what's going on.
Why is one so secretive and the other so open? The first one is intimate oriented, while the other, if I give him a hug is afraid he'll go too far..
Am I reading too much into this?
During my divorce, I started getting serious with another man (ex from college) who had similar problems, and we didn't get serious until his wife filed. He asked me to marry him, etc. His wife called off the divorce, yet we still saw each other. Now he backing away, and because I keep asking what is going on, he seems to talk to me less. I know he and wife still aren't intimate. It also seems like he's dropping hints about divorce, but doesn't let me know what's going on.
Now, I have someone else calling me about a nasty divorce, just wanting to talk. He knows my ex (works with him), and when he was at my house doing some work, we just started talking about life and being happy. That was a while ago, but every once in a while he'll stop over, but mostly he calls, almost every day wanting to know what's up with the other man (they met once). He's interested in me, but at least he's open and honest about feelings for me, why he can't act on them. He knows the other man have our ups and downs, and he wants me to make him tell me what's going on.
Why is one so secretive and the other so open? The first one is intimate oriented, while the other, if I give him a hug is afraid he'll go too far..
Am I reading too much into this?
i will agree that getting involved with anyone right now probably isnt the best idea. enjoy the silence for awhile - stop dealing with other peoples drama and start healing you.
These guys aren't even close to finished with their current relationships. Everything's still a mess and it seems like they want backup relationships for if the current ones fall apart.
You could wait around for them, but I wouldn't recommend it. They could stay in their current situations for years.
I was never one of those that said that you had to wait a year, but these guys haven't even made it one day yet. And that has red flags all over it.
I was planning on filing for divorce when my ex got hurt. I put it off because who was going to take care of ex when he was laid up for 4 months, and 8 months of rehab.
I don't know how things started between us, I wasn't planning it, I was just trying to get through the divorce, and get ex out of my house. But, it happened, and it is hard to turn back.
The other man I've known for over 30 yrs. We worked together, but I didn't know him that well. He overcame a lot of demons, and now is a sweet caring guy, and it's hard to hear what his wife is doing to him and their kids. He's told me he can't have a relationship, other than friendship, and I agree. I'm a sounding board for what he's going through, and he appreciates my listening.
I agree with the 1 yr rule. It's been almost a yr since my divorce was final, and I'm still dealing with a lot of issues, which the ex from college doesn't understand, and gets frustrated I haven't moved on yet. The other man gets it, and is supportive.
I guess that's what I'm confused about.