I briefly considered burning all the things I'd collected over the seven years my ex and I were together. Instead, I threw them all in a box and put it in the very back of my closet. A year and a half later, I've gradually taken some of the trinkets out and put them back around the house. The notes, cards, etc., I keep stored in the box. I would advise doing the same, then coming back in a year and seeing how you feel. If you still want to trash/burn the stuff then, do it. But you can't un-burn things or get them back after you've thrown them away. Life goes on, and now that I'm over him, I'm glad I kept the things I did. I don't go back and read all the stuff he wrote me, but I keep them because they meant something to me at the time. Maybe when I get married or years down the road, I will thin them out and only keep one or two things. But you can't erase that part of your life, so don't try to. Just keep them out of view for awhile until things settle down and you can think clearly.

My initial instinct was to rip them up. I am seriously considering taking every photo that exists including the ones in his wallet and briefcase and placing them in storage. I don't want him to ever have another opportunity to see my face after I leave. We will live states apart come June.

This divorce was his CHOICE. I want to wipe every physical piece that existed out of his life so that he doesn't have that part of me anymore. Yes, I'm bitter and it hurts...

In what was a cathartic evening for me a couple of months ago, I took all of the cards she gave me and the photos of her and destroyed them, took our scrapbook apart and ripped it up. The most decisive and maybe vindictive moment was taking pliers to my wedding ring and crushing it up. It may seem a little harsh but I felt I needed to do those things as part of moving ahead.

Granted, I could have sold the ring but I didn't want anyone else wearing it if I couldn't. I still have it and I'm thinking of melting it down and having a cross made for my 5 year old granddaughter using the gold and 8 small diamonds.

I'm under a strict code of no contact right now to keep my head where it needs to be, which is anywhere but in my arse. Those things are all in the past, and when I look at them, the past becomes my present. Thumb drive all the electronic stuff, then put everything in a box, and put it in the farthest reaches of a basement storage area and you will forget about it, just like you will forget about the agony.

I have to say, I have all the letters, cards, etc from whe we dated, in a box, in my closet. I kept it...especially from when he was in Iraq...because I think my son might think it's cool to see that stuff one day. Even though things are different now in the way we live our lives, that stuff is part of a history I would like to honor because it does show important events when his Dad and I were together.

My parents have been married for 43 years, and the day my Dad took out his letters from Vietnam...well, it was just fricken awesome. It was funny, too, because I saw a side of my Mom that I 've never seen as a kid. She was 19 at the time and, boy, she sounded 19 lolol. It was pretty cool.

I don't think keeping things indicates not moving forward. I think you keep what you want, or you don't.

i smashed wedding pictures, ripped up cards (all from me, to him) burned love notes (all from me, to him) and it felt delicious. if he had ever given me one damn thing i would have destroy it as well. i purged him from my house and my eye-line and it's fantastic.

I disposed of all the weddings photos, cards, everything about two years ago. They are all gone. I felt that none of it was truly helpful or wanted by me and it was time to let it all go.

I got rid of everything. It hurt to get rid of five years worth of happy photos and cards and gifts. One beautiful handmade sketchbook had "Love you always" Apparently always meant the next few months...
He said he still has everything.

But I had to clear it. It hurt to destroy but hurt to keep.

I had a ceremonial burning of everything...except my wedding rings and marriage certificate (ATGB convinced me to hang on to this for legal reasons). Don't regret burning everything one bit...in fact, besides NC, this was the most healing thing I have done!

Btw...I do regret not holding on to one photo...I have handgun lessons scheduled in two weeks and wish I would have kept one to photo copy for target practice....HA!!

LOl ALD - the two things I didn't hesitate to toss were my wedding ring and my wedding dress.

The wedding rings had monetary value though...they are no longer in my possession but I have the money from selling them still tucked away. Plan on taking one heck of a beach vacation with it one day :)

There was a few times where I was so angry I did rip up or throw things away, but we had 20 years worth of stuff together, I still have so much of it boxed up, its painful, but I thought maybe someday my kids or grandkids would want to look at it all. I have about 3 folders full of high school notes we wrote back and forth to each other, dated from 1989 and 1990!! =(