Don't let anyone know you have money. If they tell you that you have a beautiful home, tell them the bank owns the whole thing. Pretend you're poor.

I agree w/ sld1.

I agree with sld1. No one will know if you own it or the bank does.
Everyone thinks I have money because of my home, pool, spa and huge house but the bank owns most of it.

I totally agree with sld1! I don't have a high paying job but I lost 150K to my stbx and living with my parents at 57!
I'm going to be be much more cautious. If he has kids I want to see what their relationship is like. If he goes on and on how his ex ripped him off I won't be so quick to believe.
I learned so much from this man's ex it's still making my head spin!

The bank does own it!!Believe me! I tell people not to be impressed that I have to keep it couldn't sell it for what I owe! I am blessed that I can make the payments! Most men I go out with live in an apartment or mobile home, a lot of times due to divorce. I don't care what they have but when they get to see my place I always feel like they are impressed with my belongings more than me. I don't want to misjudge people because the last two were fucktards. I am sure a good man would be very offended if I thought they were likeing me just for my "stuff". How do I know? I really would share everything I own, gladly with a worthy man.

Oh, that's simple, get someone with more money than you!

In my past three relationships
I set my self up to be used. I am so used to rebuilding from nothing I got it down pat.
But I have to remember, I set this up. I guess it comes down to one of the biggest topics around here: Boundaries.
Balance in all things.
I think for me it comes down to
Take it slower and don't try to fix everything.

Just be careful about how much you reveal early on in the relationship. I agre with sld1, pretend you're poor.

Hi Happy,

Like the others said, don't let on you have anything. Don't even talk about who owes what on the house. Sit back, relax, and let them drive for a while. Not all people are after the $$$. Just go slow and let them like you for who you are. Don't be in too big a rush.

Thanks guys. It is not like I have so much, I guess I just doubt anyone would like me for me, since it appears no one ever has! Maybe one day I will trust again. I hope the exes don't have the power to change us forever. I feel like I have been scared and hardened and I don't like it.
Southern, I'll share my big house with you anytime. Wink Wink!

Yea- I can't relate. I don't have that problem. I'm poor as hell. HA! I have three jobs and I struggle to make ends meet. Love ya sister....but I have no advise on this one:)

prenup.

Should I get married again, I am having a prenup. No way around it. X2B has lawyer that is trying to go after my dad's money, and he isn't even dead yet. I am not going through this fucking bullshit again under any circumstances. Not to mention, I am going to inherit a sizable chunk, (and no, I am not a spoiled little rich kid).

Well, I definately understand not wanting to be used and being loved for who you are. I have several friends who have the same issue where they have placed their order to God with who their perfect man would be. "God please send me my man". God already knows what he wants us to have and is wait. Pray for eyes so we can see him when he comes. Pray that we can accept him even if he is flawed.

There is more to life than having a bed warmer. Take this time to love yourself. Aren't you worth it? Would you rather wait 3 minutes for Mr. Right Now or wait 3 years for Mr. Right? When you put out a call for anything that's what you'll get. STOP! Give yourself the love you would give that man. Create a new set of standards of what you will and will not accept. You won't except any ole thing because you have no fear of being alone.

I never disclose anything too personal. I usually meet them outside my home environment for several dates. I have children and I don't like exposing them to "maybes". One time, I met a suitor (this term ages me) at a restaurant and he kept on bashing people who drove luxury cars and so on and so forth. Well, he walked me to my care and I was smirking all the way there...there it was...the type of car that he was bashing and the people who drove them. He was shocked and I smiled at him and said...never judge a book by it's cover. I never saw him again. From that point on, I borrowed a car to go meet my dates...they do not need to know so much because there are opportunists out there from both genders.

Whenever I am asked about my economics...I just say, let's get to know each other before we discuss the semantics.

If you settle, then it will never be about YOU. You are magnificent and just be choosy.

happy, i have done the same in every relationship, out of fear of not being alone and i guess the status of "belonging with someone", i have the same questions, how will i know, well i do intend to keep my financial matters to myself. as you i'm in a position to totally take care of myself. at this point, i enjoy being by myself and taking care of me and giving to my family instead.