So here is my story. I am older female.I met my ex fianc about three years ago during a troubling time legally in my life- civil issues. WE got engaged fast and moved in together fast but I always kept my condo, paid all the bills and kept it ready for weekend visits to the city.
I have always had insecurity issues. I grew up in am emotionally abusive home and was told every day of my life I was a worthless human being. My first husband reiterated that sentiment daily, telling me I was getting old and fat and because I could not make a couple of hundred thousand a year so he could stay at home and do nothing. I could get the f out and he had no use for me anymore. I had just turned 40. Lovely huh.

So in my most relationship I often say to him, you should dump my sorry ass and find someone better for you. He always did not like this but I TRIED to explain to him I have no self esteem and really feel like I am too old. He is 38 and I am 49. I don't always have the energy to help him life his boat out of the water or help him build a shed. He sometimes forgets I am a woman and not a man. Also he is retired military so they tend to work very hard and continue to do something beyond normal body fatigue and exhaustion.

Now he says he is tired of all my legal shit and he cant handle it anymore. That he is getting chest pain and unless I agree to never ever say again that he should dump my sorry ass and handle all my own legal shit all by myself ( I am currently unemployed and have been for 4 months) he will TOLERATE ME.

I was floored. I simply packed a bag and left immediately to go to my condo. never would have I believed those words would come out of his mouth. Tolerate is so harsh. Again my life record of you are not good enough, I am done with you come to the surface. He says he doesn't want to break up but he is so busy working about 16 hours a day 7 days a week. I am not sure what is going on here.

Any insight would be most appreciated? Thank you ( be kind)