Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So my wife and I have been together since high school ( late 90's ) and broke up and went our ways to our own colleges and new towns. We both dated others off and on, both were heartbroken and cheated on, but we always were each other's best friend and always remained in touch and in support of each other.
Long-story short, we ended up back in the same place one holiday, got back together, then moved in together, then had a boy, then got married, then had another boy, then moved across the country, bought our first home, have been here two years, and now we're separating.
We had a lot of struggles early in our marriage, I made some business mistakes and we were not financially strong. We struggled a lot, but we worked through it mostly at my wife's mental expense. Fast forward to now, we have a great home, a wonderful family, are financially secure and provide a wonderful life for our boys. But the struggles are still there, that we have talked about but I just never really listened.
My wife is my champion and I have the deepest love & respect for her, which she has for me as well. The difference is that she is not in love with me, only loves me. So we are separating, I just signed on a new apartment nearby, and we're going to move forward as co-parents with our boys and family.
I am really struggling with this right now and hurt deeply. I've come to realize that we are such amazing friends that we tried to fit marriage into that relationship and it didn't work. I'm struggling with not losing her, which I am not, but losing my future with her as my wife and the person I yearn to take care of, and this is what I am not sure how to handle.
We have no bad feelings towards each other, we're just in the wrong type of relationsihp. I've looked for other support communities and other divorcees / separated people that have gone through the same, but don't seem to be looking in the right place. Hoping to find some relief or some direction to look at this in the most positive manner.
And if you both were crazy about each other once, do you think you could go to counseling? Try dating again?
My own experience is that once the kids arrived we got stuck in a rut. The "honeymoon" was over. And she was incapable (lazy) of trying to restart it.
I do agree, we fell into a funk once we had our boys, but it's hard to see beyond the rut and what truly happy lives and a family can be like. My wife is not incapable, nor lazy, we both tried very hard to restart it, but I think it's hard to restart when we're just so close as friends that also happen to have great benefits.
We talked tonight, told our families and I do feel a sense of relief and satisfaction, but the thought of being without and potentially lonely is a real struggle for me to deal with. Knowing you're not needed is a difficult concept to grasp.
I'm sorry for your struggle.
Message me if you want to talk.