Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Married 25 years, was laid off in beginning of May (after 18years at same company). She not working full time. My wife and I have been in couples therapy for over a years. Have a son with ADHD issues, treated with medication. Therapist told my wife that this was a "special time " make no big decisions support each other. Isssues with son on video game addiction, but on same page as far as limiting time and doing his necessary routine. After 6 weeks my wife says in session, "Well my husband has be trying hard, but slipping a little bit, but ...I just cant'.....I feel like I did 6 months ago, my son needs to go, or we need to separate. Has said there is nothing I can do to remedy situation. I have had some anger issues in the past, but not in a vacuum but provoked by either my son or wife OCD driven behaviour. .Has been no confronations with her for over 1-2 months, and usually arguements over what my son should be doing or not doing or how much time he should be spending on "screens"....I am taking SSRI to help with anxiety depression as is my wife. .I have a daughter in college and my son is 16. In the last two weeks my wife has move from talking about separation to talking to a mediator about a divorce.
We still share the same bed but not intimacty, cook dinner for each other. I am still willing to repair things, go to couples therapy. Do not want to escalate , but do not see that I should move out since I have been civil, supportive and this her initiation.
Just want to know if anyone else dealing with similar situatiion.
1. Ditch the couple's counseling. Get counseling for yourself. I found a great therapist immediately and it has helped so much. Go to Psychology Today's website and check out their registry. All you have to do is put in your zip code and you'll see the profiles of therapists in your area. You can look see their experience, fees, insurance info, specialties, hours, etc. I found two I really liked and called them both. Over the phone, I clicked with one in particular and have been with her ever since. She has been a godsend. You have a lot on your plate, just like I do. A therapist in this situation is not a luxury. It's a necessity.
Secondly, find a good attorney and at least get a consultation ... probably three would be best. Most attorneys don't charge for consultations, but some do so ask upfront. You can find attorneys in your area on AVVO and read reviews of them.
What does she mean that your son should go? To a group home? Either he (your son) goes or you separate? Sounds like she doesn't have any faith left in the marriage, that she's made up her mind.
I think the fact that you lost your job does mean that you should stay until you find new employment. Ideally, get separate bedrooms, try to live independent lives, as a kind of trial separation. You have way too many things going on in your life to be making major changes, as your therapist said. Good luck to you.