Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Is life after a divorce always going to seem like a struggle? Working was just for fun earlier/some extra cash, now its a necessity which feels suffocating...life seems like a 'job' itself ! And being by myself--as a single woman is now starting to feel frustrating and as a single mom, life seems to be like all work and no play. [ let me add-I love my child and am grateful for her--but i am so often caught worrying]. Or perhaps wishing i could share her parenting with her father as a family.
Maybe i am real lazy or maybe i dont have it in me to face this new life which seems challenging cos for me, married life seemed much 'easier'..to put it more bluntly--it seemed more 'convenient' --now life seems like a long, tiring, 'trying to get by' journey.
Maybe i am real lazy or maybe i dont have it in me to face this new life which seems challenging cos for me, married life seemed much 'easier'..to put it more bluntly--it seemed more 'convenient' --now life seems like a long, tiring, 'trying to get by' journey.
Not that I was wanting to be back in my marriage. Anything is better than that was, but I was getting so disillusioned about what the purpose of life was.
Anyway I decided that this year I was really going to start to live life, and not let it be a drag on me, and not just all hard work. I am now going to very regular support group meetings twice a week and I am making the effort to join up with other people to do fun things. I don't know whether you have any meetup.com groups where you live, but if you do, it is well worth looking up on the internet and seeing whether there are any that interest you.
This past weekend I went on a hike with one group and then went to the theater and dinner with another, and what a difference it is making to my life to now be having some fun. I really feel as though I am starting to live again.
I hope you can find some other things you can do to make you feel that life is worth living, and so you can start to enjoy the fact that you don't have to tailor your life around you ex's wishes etc. It is such a new liberating experience being able to choose and do the things I like to do. I hope you can too!!
My husband does not take the kids during the week so I am left to do everything ...
It has gotten better over the past few months as I adjust but I still find it is that hardest part to adjust too ...
I reached a turning point when I realized that I am not the first nor the last single mom on Earth. It's not fair, but it is what it is. I also personally know many families- still intact, 2 parent families- that are in foreclosure/bankruptcy. I don't relish their pain, but it does point out that I;'m lucky for what I DO have. No matter how much we love the kiddos, it IS stressful. And I would be a different person entirely if I didn't have to worry so much. I do miss that part of being married, though I no longer miss my ex!
I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings, but there will likely come a time where you just feel grateful to move forward for YOUR plans and find things that are convenient for you. Plus you never know, you may get remarried someday if you choose lol
I have TWO JOBS! I am grateful because lots of people are unemployed.
I am able to provide food, heat, shelter, transportation, clothing, health benefits, etc to me and my children-- ALL! BY! MYSELF!! It's so very wonderful to realize that I can and DO and WILL survive on my own.
It may be all work and no play for now, but the way I look at it is this: gratitude gratitude gratitude for all of the simple, but GRAND, things.... and kids are just kids for such a short time if you thnk about it. I had them, now it's my job to dedicate myself to providing for them, and raising them UP until they are on their own. (which, is...you know, 18.... please dear God)
Pat yourself on the back! And realize that it IS an adjustment, and KNOW that the example you are setting for your daughter is AMAZING!!! Keep up the good work!!