Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Need to vent but comments welcome! This is a long story but I'm going to try to make it short. I have been with this man/hubby for 20 yrs, married 15 of them. We are roomies cuz we don't sleep together for the last 3 yrs, do nothing together and haven't for as long as we have been married, 16 yrs. We have a 15 yr old daughter who is a good kid all around. I have a 29 yr old who has had his share of problems but thinks of hubby as his dad. Hubby and I have had our 'adventures' owning a business and him working long distance for yrs at a time. This is marriage #2 for both of us. I was single for 10 yrs between marriages and he was for 3 or 4 yrs. I have always been able to take care of myself until recently and have gone back to school which my dad had offered to pay for; otherwise, I would not be able to afford. I battle with myself daily (because I want to leave but can't due to finances) because I plan to leave during last semester in spring 2015. I am totally withdrawn from my marriage for several reasons (mostly loss of respect for him for various reasons) but He still talks about the future together acting as if nothing is wrong which in itself drives me crazy, stating that ''once you graduate we will be doing great'' and assumes all will be fine both financially and emotionally. I know he is not happy either but will not leave.
I think your husband deserves to at least know you are not happy, he sounds totally oblivious. You can try marriage counseling to see why you are where you are in the marriage. It isn't that rosey out there being single, ask all the lonely people who have no one.
I used to say it was impossible to find a good man, as all the good ones were taken and what is still out there, someone else threw away. (no offense guys) Or as my mother put it,by comparing men to used cars "You know what you've got, you don't know what you'll get"
You might want to turn your old clunker into a fixer upper.
I totally agree with Blondie .. marriage can become like old shoes.. comfortable - its what we know. Dating is easy (initially) because we dont have all the stressors we do in marriage and family.
Yes, marriage counseling may work - maybe you need a little revamp on the relationship. Do you love him and want to work on things? Its hard when you stop doing things together.. my husband and I dont do things together either - havent in a couple years. Do you still have the desire to be with him?? Like physically and or emotionally? If you do - then thats a good sign maybe theres something that can be saved. Open communication is key. Men (like mine) can be oblivious about things (no offense men : ) ) and we have to explain to them - or have a counseling session(s) to get them to open up. Good luck
I hope all goes well with your plans...at least you have a light at the end of the tunnel...many women don't. You can be an inspiration to those trying to get free from a bad marriage. Thanks for sharing.