What a blessing that you are feeling the victory of regaining yourself. Its a slow journey we are on but you give us hope that there is light at the end of a very dark tunnel. Thank you for an encouraging post.

You are very welcome. Thank you for helping me. This site has restored my faith in humanity. There are compassionate strangers out there. Have a great day!

10 weeks on your own is a great accomplishment!! I am so proud of you. My husband hasn't even moved out so it will be a looooong journey for me but you and others here have been so helpful in my recovery. It has taught me that I can someday trust someone again because there are people out there that I've never met that care. When my husband of 10 years cannot give me an ounce of sympathy, all of you have been there to fill the void. And as I type this I am crying but it's okay. We are allowed to cry and feel what we feel.

Dear Koko it is so terribly awful. At least you are grieving before he leaves. He told me he was leaving and I spent weeks with him here in denial. Boy did I get kicked in the teeth and heart when he left. You're doing the right thing with accepting things now.

Oh I'm pretty sure I'll be a wreck once he moves out. It will be more real then and then I will have to deal with the kids grief. Even last night he left the house for few hours and I would hear creaking noises and would freak out. I am thinking about getting an alarm system. I hate that I will be a single woman living in a house with little kids.....

Yes I have an alarm and a big beautiful dog. I'm using weighted and heated blankets for anxiety. Thank God I can wear my hair curly because I sweat through the night but at least I sleep.

When he leaves it will be unbelievably painful. You'll need all of us day and night. If you pray, pray. God will help you.

When I initially lived alone and didn't have the kids I seemed to feel okay, like "look at me not needing a man to keep me safe" (even though he never really made me feel safe as bedtime was our biggest fight time and I was an a-hole for being able fall asleep - i wasn't sleeping I was hoping he would stop yelling at me.). I am SO much more sensitive to creeks and bangs at night when I have the kids. The kids, unfortunately, are too, as in the first few months of my being out & when I had the kids, he would come over and bang on my door like a crazy man at night. So the door knocking is a trigger for me and the kids. My doorbell doesn't work but for the week it did I felt so much better. It's funny how little things give us a safe feeling now.

And I'm so happy to read your posts and see the glimmer of positive in them. Yes, there is hurt and a lot of suck in this journey, but I think your attitude is great. It's inspiring. So kick ass!!

I'm glad my post can make you smile. Before life kicked my ass I was the bell of the ball , the life of the party! Then life kept throwing me curve ball after curve ball. Well now me and mr life are in a battle, but I've got to get myself back. I'm going to get up and shower and go to self care yoga, then the steam room and suana!! Time to viva!!!!!!!

We are all thankful for you too basnime. That was a really sweet post and I appreciate it.

As it happens, I am having a horrible, horrible day. Still living in the same house as my wife, but on different floors. I am grieving now, and she said and did some things last night that really got to me. This morning she was very clear that her feelings for me have just flat out changed. She is not in love with me. Every time I hear that it kills me more and more inside. Apart form the more serious things she did wrong yesterday, it all comes down to not feeling loved by the person who has claimed to love you for the last 16 years. I broke down in front of my boss today as well, and while she was incredibly nice and understanding, I am beyond embarrassed. That has never happened to me before, I seriously broke down. What the hell is wrong with me?

In any event, like I said, thank you so much for being there. And that goes for all of the people I have met here so far. Everyone here is so incredibly kind. And just speaking for myself, kindness is something I need a lot of right now.

It is ok to break down. What we are going through is so unnatural. Your are heartbroken. Trust me it gets worse when you're seperated. When the phone doesn't ring and the car is not in the driveway. I will be here every step of the way. In terms of kindness you pioneered that for me. I couldn't understand how a person could be so kind going through such awful pain. You're a great example for this group. Your kindness has given be strength. Keep your faith we are here.

We all need a group hug!!!

Congratulations! Trust me, honey, you are stronger than you think. Inside of you is a Super Woman just beginning to wake up. There are a lot of challenges for you at this point, but it's also a tremendous chance for self-discovery and growth. A year from now, you won't believe how happy you are! Everyone is afraid of the unknown and change, even good change. You are creating a new normal for yourself right now and that's not easy, but eventually things will settle down and you won't feel so much sadness and anxiety. (((HUGS)))

We do need a group hug! Samantha I have never ever felt so vulnerable! Everyday and night I make it I feel stronger. I am not going to lie, I feel like what the hell is going to happen next but if I am alive I'm going to live!!

You already made the biggest step ... you decided to survive. Yes, in many ways you are more vulnerable, but you also have a lot more resources available to you than you realize ... counseling, legal advice, financial advice, support and encouragement. Take advantage of them all! Information is your best friend right now ... get as much of it as you can! It will help you make good decisions for yourself and your kids and give you a sense of control in a situation where you feel you have none.

For me, I felt so much more at peace and settled than I had in years after we both filed for divorce. I was living in a bubble then (and I knew it) because I was being protected mainly by my attorney. As my therapist put it, "he can't hurt you anymore." I felt like the bullied kid on the playground who finally got a bodyguard!

I find interesting that many of us that we need to talk on this site are woman. It seems like we all have the same theme...I am not being sarcastic - because I am myself going thru a really bad separation. My husband after 16 years together is telling me that he does not have the romantic or intimate connection with me - That he believed that he will never regain that feeling. We have spoken extensively on the subject and we have 2 options - 1 we stay together for 12 months and pay our debt together and after that he will look for the divorce......For me I hear what he has to say and I feel like I am living a movie that I will eventually will wake up. We have two kids together and as like many of you I am trying to put a face for them it is really hard and I feel like if I accept this grace period that he wants me to agree to it will only by me time but it will not stop the starting of my Divorce.........I love him and I am feeling everyday more depress and like the weight of the world is in my shoulder