Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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Made a huge mistake!

heartwillgoon
heartwillgoon

My ex moved out two weeks ago, due to issues we couldn’t mend. He blames me for giving up but this went on for 2 years-it was too much. 



So last night he came to get the rest of his things and I was feeling vulnerable and so one thing led to another and we slept together. Afterwards he seemed to think it meant I assumed we were back together so he made it clear he isn’t rushing into a relationship. Why would I have him move out just to get back together? If he wouldn’t have acted so lousy I might hsve considered dating him and seeing if we can work things out. But he wants things at his pace and is pretty much blaming me for everything. I just feel so stupid thinking for a few min things would be different when all he did was set out to hurt me and probably just get me back. 

WisingUp
WisingUp
Don't beat yourself up--sleeping with exes just happens sometimes. I find it really encouraging that he assumed all these things about you, and that he made it clear he didn't want to get back together. And that your post makes it sound like you decided yourself that things were not good in the relationship. It would be so much worse if you decided the relationship needed to end, you slept together and he was acting in all the ways you had hoped, and then you were second guessing yourself. He probably does want you back, but he wants you on his own terms which is not fair for anyone in a relationship that's supposed to be about 2 people. Good luck and just think of it as freebie sex you got to enjoy?
heartwillgoon
heartwillgoon
Your 110% right! I know he wants me back otherwise he wouldn’t have even assumed that I would even consider it. He was telling me all kinds of things; I missed you, I’m heartbroken, I know you still have feelings for me deep down inside, I do still love you bla bla bla.

He thinks we would start over getting to know each other, go slow, and he expects me to make changes and let things happen naturally Aka on his terms. Well he’s sol now. I would have been open to continuing the relationship but not living together but now I want nothing to do with him!