Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I knew my ex was coming to drop off a check so I left the house because I didn't want to talk to him. I figured my son could get the check from him no big deal. As I am coming home I do see him turning down my street so I went around a couple of corners to avoid him. I thought I gave it enough time, but I see him still in my driveway pulling out. so I figured ok he is leaving I will approach the house. Well instead of just pulling out of the driveway and leaving he pulls in after me. He starts to talk to me with his head out of the window. I am walking towards the house, but I stop and I do answer his questions about mail that he left for me. ok not bad, but then he asks about my brother and how he is doing. He was in a bad accident so I start to engage in a conversation with him on this. Something I promised I would stop doing when ever he asked about my brother. I told myself time and again when ever he asks me this I would just say ok and walk away, but once again I didn't I talked to him about it. and once again he ended the conversation with if they need anything let him know. Why would I let him know why would my brother who hates him want anything from him, but instead of saying that I say ok. I am so mad again that I let this man think that everything is ok that we are friends. that he is a part of the family. he has lied to me cheated on me betrayed me, and walked away thinking that I still like him that he is an ok person that I don't hate him. I just wish I was not a what ever and could scream at him. I don't know why I can't. And then I get so mad at myself instead for not letting him know that he is a jerk and to get out of my life and he is not apart of my family's life.
Well thanks for letting me vent. I can't wait until I don't care anymore.
Well thanks for letting me vent. I can't wait until I don't care anymore.
Maybe he is feeling guilty? who knows... but going off on him and telling him how you really feel might bug you more. Even though I wish sometimes I could do the same to my ex. I just think that taking the high road and not telling him off is better than doing so. That way he thinks I just dont give a shit anymore :)
:)
Don't beat yourself about it. It wasn't that bad (not like you invited him in or were chummy with him), and he'd have to be an idiot to not know you he has wronged you and how.
You were just being polite and that speaks volumes for your state of heart. Let him deal with his own karma.
I also wish I could yell at my STBX, but it doesn't do any good, and actually hurts our positions.... no matter how good it may feel in the short run.
I'm so sorry for what you are going through.
Don't beat yourself up. Just means you are a good person. That is a good quality. You will build up those boundaries.
I can completely relate. I called my ex once to say I had watched the episode of cops that showed a sandwich shop in Miami where my ex used to live. He started to engage in the conversation like everything was ok between us, and then I felt really stupid and mega aggravated that I called him to talk about that so I yelled "by the way, the baby needs diapers!!!" and then I hung up. I have done some seriously stupid stuff since the break up, and I am sure I will do more, but as my fellow compradres here on DS have reminded me, they are merely little slip ups and bad days. Dont beat yourself up too bad. Just have a laugh at my expense for my stupid shenanagans!