Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isnt it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid lifeYou give them a piece of you. They didnt ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isnt your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like maybe we should be just friends turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. Its a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. Neil Gaiman
My motto: LOVE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HURT. If it does, it ain't the real thing.
I disagree that love should be "easy". Love takes work. It needs constant nurturing. The problem comes when one of the lovers fails to participate.
There is a great resource called "Marriage Builders". I wish I had found that site years ago. It is very useful for anyone in a relationship (Married or Not).
One of the concepts I like there is about the "Love Bank". It talks about how you have to make regular deposits in order to compensate for the withdrawls. Just like real life money banking.
The idea is so simple, yet so many people fail to do it.
So it isn't love that is painful. It is people. Kinda like guns don't kill people, people kill people with guns.
one thing for sure time will heal us.
The thoughts are so over dramatic: "Love takes hostages." "It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness. . . a phrase . . . turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart."
Words I could live without ever hearing again: drama, upgrade, friends with benefits, and the asinine but prevalent "go ahead, tell me how you REALLY feel. "
Wish we could distill all our feelings into brief economical texts messages . That would be so wholesome. -snark-
You know what? For some, anguish is very very real.
love makes us care
we get emotionally invested
in something we cant control
-- another person --
and that makes us vulnerable to hurt
thats universally understood, isnt it?
Heartbreak is the worst of all pain. There is no bandage we can use, no cancer that can be removed. It is all encompassing. The only thing that can help it go away, sometimes, is time.
"Pain, it's only a little pain, It'll be gone in a couple of days, or maybe a life or two". -Jason Aldean.
Neil there is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling right now, but remember, you excepting the feelings is one thing, evening owning them is great! But don't live them. Please, don't live them. Because you never know what might be there for you some day. I hate saying it to you, because I haven't gotten there myself yet. But im hoping to, it be nice to see someone else get there too.