Have you both thought about seeking counselling? I know how it is to be blindsided. I would talk to him again and see if he is willing to go to counselling. I have been in therapy for about 2 months and I will swear by it. For me it has helped with the separation as my husband did not give me a chance to work it out. But if your husband is willing I suggest go and go quickly. Every marraige goes through tough times. If he i not willing to go then there is your answer about how he feels about the marriage but I REALLY suggest you go that way you can be the best mom to your son. Be strong and hope things work out. Good luck.

Thank you so much. We have tried counseling a year or so ago, and it really didn't do much. Granted, it wasn't from a true counselor, it was a pastor I love. We really can't afford the right kind of counseling, and I don't know what to do. I honestly feel like he feels like it's beyond that point... We are going to have another discussion about where things are headed in a week or so. I will bring it up, I am willing to do anything to save this marriage. My son has no idea what is going on, and that is the most important thing. Thank you again for your wonderful reply. I hope you are having a good day.

Sorry for what you are going through. I know how it is to be blindsided. Therapy has helped me just deal with everything...feelings, emotions, logistics, what to do for the kids. We are separating because she didn't give me a chance to work it out. Like Juneday says "every marriage goes through tough times." This is definitely a tough time for you, a midlife crisis maybe for him and it may take some time for both of you to figure out what each of you want.

I think I am going to just make therapy a priority. As of right now I'm on such an emotional roller coaster. I know how many struggles my husband and I have had to overcome, and I am just so scared he just has no fight left in him... As of right now things between us seem better than ever, but I know what he is thinking... I know that he isn't happy, and it is killing me. I wake up every night and just cry, and hold on to him, just knowing he may not be in my bed anymore very soon... Thank you for your reply, it does help to know that I am not the only one going though such a difficult time, even though it often feels that way.

I completely agree with the recommendation of therapy. If me and my ex would have sought it out years ago, our family would still be together. I understand avoiding the added expense, but I would recommend calling around. I know my therapist has worked with me in the past regarding her fee. When times were tight she cut her rate down below half just until I could afford more. Also, many times health insurance may cover a portion or you can find community programs in your city that can offer assistance. I guess my biggest point is don't let the expense stand in the way of seeing a qualified therapist. If you find the one that's right for you, it can save your marriage and if it doesn't, it can save your life going through a divorce. I know mine has.

Thank you so much, you're so right... I can't let money be an excuse. I think I'm also just scared of therapy. I'm scared to be that open and vulnerable with someone, but I know that in the end it will help me. I truly appreciate all of your kind words. It so unfortunate that we have found each other here, but I am also grateful for this community.

Hi Nicole, the therapy is worth a try if your husband is willing - a marriage is worth at least every effort, right? In terms of support when you need it, this site is great for that, night or day. Good luck to you, you are not alone, we are with you and know your pain.

Just remember that the point of couple's therapy isn't to find a way to stay together. It's more about finding out if you should stay together and coming to terms with whatever the answer is. I hope you discover the path that is right for you and the strength to take it.