Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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sheemee 04/06/2015

I was seeing someone for over a month, trying to not do what it is I normally do which is go gaga over person and fall hard......he seemed like an asshole and i was unsure about him but now he's apparently done with me. Friday I barely heard from him so after he kinda picked a fight I sent text pouring my heart out just saying "you dont seem like you're in a good place or you arent happy with things or dont really want this"
something along those lines, he had gone to bed when I d sent it so I thought sometime saturday I'd hear something from him.........didnt hear anything. I sent text saying wow no reply would ve been nice if you had just said something he came back with I m going through midlife crisis dont mind me........so I took that as we were done I texted saying wish you wouldnt have continued seeing me if you're going thru midlife crisis now I m just left feeling hurt. He said "i m not saying i dont want to hang out with you" then after some more weird not comitting to hanging out barely texting I was trying to let it go cuz it was his 40th bday and he said he s been miserable about turning 40....I sent him happy bday text we've been texting all day tonight i went on facebook to write on his wall and he deleted me as his friend...............so I sent a text saying why couldnt you have just been honest and said what s going on instead of messing with me like this..................saddest part I know I'm not going to hear a word from him.........I want to ignore him and not answer him but I wont even get the chance cuz he's an asshole and doesnt even care. Its pathetic..........I'm pathetic..........I m sitting here after having a horrible weekend not even just dealing with this stuff with him just everything this weekend has been rough and now I m sitting here alone crying over someone I didnt like that much and who doesnt give a shit about me..........I'm so lonely and desperate for a social life that I was putting up with this asshole just so I had someone..........guess I deserve this. Just sick of caring......sick of life sick of getting kicked when I m down

enough50 04/06/2015

Sheemee, i feel your pain and sorry you're hurting. I suspect that its not him you miss or want but really he was a good distraction from yourself and self esteem issues. He is giving a clear message to you, and if you try to challenge that there will be more pain. Accept it as it is. Its doesn't mean you're a loser or pathetic or anything, you're just in pain because you've been hurt. But sounds like what you really want is a life, a social life and some good friends to hang with; so focus on that, get out or reach out to someone you used to know, who's safe, or find a way to reach out to some new people. Take time and slowly address your self esteem issues as this is what this is really about. I know its painful but you'll survive.

sheemee 04/06/2015

Thank you enough50 for your reply. You're right i know I have self esteem stuff to deal with but I dont see how it ll ever change, I dont see how I'm ever going to think of myself differently or see myself differently than I have for the past 31 years so it feels hopeless like unfix-able I ve been trying to work on it for a while now but it comes down to changing how I've been wired to think.............it seems impossible. I know if you dont love yourself how can you expect anyone else to love you..............and the more I date and put myself out there the more I m seeing thats true. Thanks again for your reply.

enough50 04/06/2015

I know it seems hard to beleive that one day you can and will think diffierently about yourself, especially when you're recovering from a hurt but you can and will. Its hard to see things differently when you're in this mode. Find a caring and an experienced therapist to talk with, they should be able to help a bit. It seems impossible because of how you think about yourself right now, but it is possible. Put dating on the back burner for now and find some healthy activitiy like walking and exercise - that can help us feel better about ourselves. Hang in there girl, things will change if you change some things too.

seeingthedawn 04/07/2015

so you had been seeing this guy for a month....30 or so days.
All this drama over a 30 day romance? And you question why he might be distant?

CopingJust 04/08/2015

I'm with reply #4.

Imagine for a second that you were a healthy human being on the receiving end of all that drama......ick. I'd run a mile......really really fast.

Don't ever send text's like that. and it may be best to date yourself for a while......till you're more resilient - cos dating is not for the faint of heart.....

sheemee 04/08/2015

#4 nothing had happened to make him distant, he started being off and distant which is why I ended up asking what was going on, I get people have bad days and are grumpy arent always in the mood to talk but you can just tell when somethings off, little things change, I could tell he was being sketchy something was up and fact he deleted me as his friend on facebook tells me there was something he didnt want me to see. I m a sensitive person and people know this pretty quickly......I dont hide it I'm me....if someone does something I think is off I think about it try to see it from different perspectives and give it time see what happens. He was being sketchy for a few days then all that happened..........so it just told me he doesnt give a shit.........and he doesnt. i wasnt emotional or bitchy I just said wish you would ve been honest instead of doing 12 year old childish behavior

sheemee 04/08/2015

I didnt say the 12 year old comment to him.........that would ve been rude and hurtful. I always try to be respectful

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