I am right there with you - my husband of 10 years told me he wants to separate last Monday. It's been so hard not to fall apart in front of the kids. I keep on excusing myself so they don't see me crying. My husband is still here but working a lot and just told me he is leaving tomorrow to visit his grandfather then coming back Wednesday to pick up kids to go to Thanksgiving at his dad's. He already told me he does not want me there ruining his relaxing time. So I will be spending Thanksgiving alone for the first time. Yet I have to put on a brace face when he is around with the kids.

Wow, your story is the same exact one as mine, only my wife told me 3 weeks ago she was done. I cry a lot (not ashamed to admit it). I thought things would start getting easier, but it's harder every day, with no end in sight. Still so confused by the whole thing.

You're not alone. Hang in there. We'"ll all get through our situations together.

Welcome to this forum.
I’m so sorry to hear that, girl. My heart ached as I read your post, and wish I could give you a hug. Words seem inadequate to convey my care and concern over the pain which you shared. Have you considered talking with a counselor? Do you think your husband might consider going with you? I just said a prayer for you and your husband, and I hope that God will provide the comfort and help you need at this time. I know your situation may seem impossible right now, but I do believe there is hope. Sending hugs & prayers your way!

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I do not feel as alone. I did a lot of crying too. And today it turned into anger. And then I just put on a brave face as well and his when I couldn't. This is so hard because of the time together and all we went thru and the kids. I can't stand the thought of splitting time. And the thought of not having him here during a hard time I cannot imagine. Been together 12 years. But we mutually agreed that we would split time based on jobs and holidays. But it still is so so hard I do not know how I am going to control my emotions when we start having to tell people. Thank you for the prayers it means so much. I have been praying as well and I cannot keep my mind off of it for anything. My oldest can see something is up and I know it will hurt him if I do not put aside my anger towards him and just make peace with it. But how?

Oh and no. No counselor. He is done. Other people make him more happy. He also feels I will be happier without him as well as we were struggling to find common ground.

Again, so many similarities. My oldest can tell what is going on, and is starting to become withdrawn. We've already started telling people, and it is harder than anything I have ever done. Nothing seems fair, nothing seems right. Literally impossible to concentrate at work (performance is already slipping, so next stop is losing my job, which will make things a thousand times worse). Not sure where else to turn. Trying to take things minute by minute, but nothing comes easy. I know you will find comfort, and I should know the same for myself, but my self worth is at zero right now, and I don't know how to fix it.

I started to see a therapist few months ago but my husband refuses. It is so painful that he won't even put in a last ditch effort. After 10 years he owes me that. And yes my oldest is 8 and he is acting up so I wonder if he knows. But of course he knows - I always on the verge of crying hysterically when they're not looking.....

The hardest part is accepting that it's over. If your husband/boyfriend doesn't want you anymore and you see him hanging with other women, know that he was already hanging with those women and he was living a whole other life outside of the one with yours. Don't try and fix a man who doesn't want to be fixed. Put your time and energy on yourself. Focus on self love and self respect. You can do better.