Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Aside from the obvious pain of being discarded by my stbx-w, I am finding the loneliness to be the biggest struggle. I was originally married to wife #1 right out of highschool and we were together for 15yrs before divorcing. During the divorce, our daughter chose to live with me and she has been while she is attending college. She applied for a transfer to a different college for this upcoming fall semester and has moved out to be on her own. So she is gone, the stbx-w is gone and I am left feeling very lonely.
I have read a bunch of articles on the internet about how to combat loneliness, and have tried to put some of that advice to practice, however in the evenings after work, I find myself extremely lonely.
What do people -- who are in their mid 40s -- do for entertainment. I mean, all my friends are married and it feels awkward and weird going to out to the bar or to dinner by myself. I need something to help me break past feeling the need for companionship. I don't want to turn into the neighborhood hermit that talks to the stray cats, but I am at a complete loss as to where to begin.
I know.. begin by finding myself and being content being by myself. That rings of loneliness to me. Maybe I am missing something in the message. I am content with who I am, but I still crave companionship and someone to talk to. I never realized how small my circle of friends had gotten, while I was married and now it is glaring.
I have read a bunch of articles on the internet about how to combat loneliness, and have tried to put some of that advice to practice, however in the evenings after work, I find myself extremely lonely.
What do people -- who are in their mid 40s -- do for entertainment. I mean, all my friends are married and it feels awkward and weird going to out to the bar or to dinner by myself. I need something to help me break past feeling the need for companionship. I don't want to turn into the neighborhood hermit that talks to the stray cats, but I am at a complete loss as to where to begin.
I know.. begin by finding myself and being content being by myself. That rings of loneliness to me. Maybe I am missing something in the message. I am content with who I am, but I still crave companionship and someone to talk to. I never realized how small my circle of friends had gotten, while I was married and now it is glaring.
We have similar situations and feelings.
We were together for 23 years known him for 24.5 years.
I have family that is here to support me but my friend circle is zero.
I do come from a large family 5 sisters 1 brother like I said they are supportive but after while you feel like you are being too much about me. You know they care but unless they live (well to be fair 2 sisters have gone through this too) what I/we am going through they don't really know. Also they don't really know what to say and if I talk about it I normally get teary eye and I don't want to...
After work is a bad time but I have whims of this feeling throughout the day at work and I just want to leave.
I would be happy to be 41. I'm not really in to the club scene anymore. I know a few family members that do meet and greets but that isn't really for me right now.
The part about the hermit and stray cats gave me a bit of chuckle. I've had similar thoughts.
I feel like you, "being content by myself," blah blah blah, sorry not to be rude to anybody.
I miss him. I know that isn't the right way to feel but I do. I know things weren't great for us some times but I thought we were here until death do us part, to the bitter sweet end. Now I have a divorce to deal with. I know this sounds weird but he would be the one to help me through such stressful hard times...Now that is missed up.
I can't say I am content with myself maybe I will one day. I know it is too soon right now but I don't want to be by myself for the rest of my life. Once this divorce is finished I hope I can move forward and find happiness. I wish the same for you too.
Sorry for jacking your post. Take care
I know doing this with them daily is unsustainable and I don't want to burden them by spending their free time with me instead of being with their families. So, the past couple of weeks I get home from work, alone, often lonely and do not know what to do with my time. This is a bad time, as I let my thoughts get the best of me, sometimes feelings of anger and other times feelings of sadness/depression. I found myself dwelling too much on my situation and I have let my anger get the best of me, which has led me to posting very negative comments about my situation on this forum.
I pass the alone time by walking my dog after dinner. We take long walks, just long enough so by the time we get back, it's practically bedtime. I suggest you take this time to figure out what you truly enjoy and go for it. I have been looking at Meet Up groups, but haven't worked up the nerve to just go. At 44 years old, going to bars and clubs, especially alone is not something I'm interested in doing.
Anyway, hope all gets better for you soon and take care.
I got a new library card. It not only enabled me to borrow e-books and magazines from the comfort of my own home but allowed me to study a foreign language. The library offered patrons free access to an online program (similar to Rosetta Stone). Since traveling is a passion of mine, it's a lot of fun.
Food is one of my favorite things. I love cooking, baking and especially eating. I signed up for a free nutrition class on Coursera.org. The homework assignments required cooking various meals and uploading pictures which were then graded by peers. The class had over 40,000 enrolled worldwide. I got to interact with people all over the world. Through my town's recreation department I signed up for a cake decorating class. I joined a meetup for fans of Asian food and we have dinner about twice per month. Best of all, I took a certification class and became a barbecue judge, I can go anywhere in the world that there's a sanctioned event and judge. This weekend I'm going to Charleston to judge an event. It's not only a great way to meet people with similar interests but at the last competition I met someone who offered to help me network and find a job.
It's definitely hard when all your friends seem to be married with kids. I try to find events that are family friendly so I can do them with my married friends. I've found that I get a lot more invitations from my friends now because their children request my presence because fun activities. Maybe you could try the beach or a ballgame.
You have to deliberatly find activities that you want to do, and do them. it really is something you make up. If you can not find any activities what so ever, then sign up for "ways' to find them. Such as MeetUp groups or Event notifications. Pick one or two and make yourself go.
Have you hit the gym lately? That is a number 1 go-to option for anyone (I don't care who you are, fitness is good).
Ok I am totally jealous that you are a barbecue judge! How cool is that! I am from Texas so I know a little about barbeque. Now you got me thinking about a new hobby....