I wish there were. I don't know how to shake it.

I thought about getting a dog. I think it will help but then what to I do when I go to work plus I work shift work. Being alone is hard. I too wish for a cure. Looking at these 4 walls here just doesn't help. They all tell me to get out and make new friends, join some kind of group but that doesn't stop the loneliness I feel at night.

The loneliness is the worst! But we have to believe that it will get better. God help us!

I know all to well what you are talking about.
Sometimes we have to force ourselves to get out of the box.
This site helps people to connect with other people that are going through the trauma of breakups.
But it can become a crutch. I think for me I started out slow and worked back into a normal life.
I think the first thing I did was to go to a meetup of singles for a night of bowling.
Made a few friends there and started talking online about future gatherings.
Also we had several meetups of people from this site. Safety in numbers as you will. I am sure it was a bit scarier for the gals, so safety in numbers.
It was hard that first couple of times to push myself out. But most of the friendships are still active to this day, I was here about 9 years ago.
Still haven't met the love of my life. But have had some good relationships since my time here so long ago. I have learned not to jump to fast as this was my downfall in the past.
My advice, take a look around at some things you can do to get yourself out there and take the plunge. It beats the alternative.
Good luck and God Bless

You will get through this. We all are in this together. <Hugs>

I'm in the same boat, 54 but with a 16 going on 36 year old at home. My 18 year old does come home from college sometimes, but aside from the kids, work people, and a few friends and some family I see once a month or two, I'm pretty majorly lonely. I am very busy with getting our second house finished and for sale, but when that's done, I dread being home. Stbx is still living here and will until that other house sells. The lonliness for me is lessened when he is NOT here. When he is, I have to avoid him like the plague, so I shut myself up in the back bedroom. I can't even be comfortable in my own home. I looked into meetups but there are none closer than an hour away from me. Once stbx is gone, I guess I'll keep busy with fixing up the bathroom, finish tiling the kitchen, painting, reclaiming the master bedroom. Keeping busy working is always theraputic for me so with an old house I guess I'll always be in "therapy". I wish there was a DS meetup group near me, that way I wouldn't feel I have to explain myself to new people.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/apr/20/modern-guide-how-to-be-lonely

"Being on your own is how you learn to value company. Silence is what gives value to conversation. Having nobody to ask is how you work out what you really want. It may not always feel like it, but loneliness can be incredibly productive."

I do not want to seem like i am not empathetic to your feelings. I am sorry you are feeling the pain of loneliness right now and i just want to offer a different perspective. Wishing you peace. Hugs.

Ahota - I appreciate the different perspective. When my logical brain is working, that perspective makes sense. When my emotional brain takes over, my mind goes to the deepest darkest places. I am trying to train my logical brain to not listen to my emotional brain.

Hi i find my self alone like you and about a year ago i got given up on ,dumped ,deserted and i hate the words it gets better ,and every door that closes a new one opens .....There is no time frame to getting past this and working on your thoughts is a good start .......Anything that distracts you painting reading walking for even 5 minutes is a good indicator of what could help.........I often think about the year to come and starting over seems to big to tackle ....now i set small daily goals and try focus on the now...........I hope you find some peace and your mind gives you a break soon ......This is not easy and people now days care in text messages look after your self first .......

This is the time when you find the new you and what you like to do. Staying busy does help and making one goal at a time. Meeting friends is not easy at least for me because I have trust issues thanks to my stbx. I don't like to share my private life as stbx does that regardless of how I feel but ya know this is the time that you decide what it is you like to do, a book, t.v, going for walks. searching on line for support groups. I know it is not easy. You will get through this one step at a time. Best of luck and wishes. Have a blessed new year.

When I was faced with a similar situation, mid 40's, getting a divorce, and an empty house, I had to put a lot of effort into being social. My situation was a little different as my 9 yr old son was living with me 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. But the lack of adult conversation was the same.

I made it a point of inviting friends over for dinner at least once or twice a month. (Some with kids, some without). Some will recpricate so that is nice too. Meeting for lunch mid day is nice too, but has time limits.

I also joined the Meetup website and went to some events with varying success. Made a few new friends that way that I keep in touch with.

took up a few new hobbies that would get me out of the house where other people gather. Made some new friends there.

Even made a few friends on sites like ds that have lasted over the years. None are local but skype is pretty cool for a long distance chat.

None of these things was the be-all end-all solution to being alone so much but they all helped.

Hi there,
I understand! Divorce can cause us to feel so alone. Fortunately, I have a roommate and we are also really good friends. I also have 3 dogs so it is never quiet at home. However, I understand that isn’t the same as having a spouse.
Maybe there is a good church in your area that you could consider visiting. It is a great place to meet some new friends and possibly something much deeper.
Another idea you might consider is to take a class, learn to do something you have always wanted to do like a new language, paint or cook.
I wish you the best.
Judy