Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
i have been living with my wife for last month after she filed for divorce. . I'm a stay at home dad and both our lawyer tell us to don't leave., but this is horrible. Living with someone you love and them not loving you. See them get fixed up to go out with friends etc. we have 3 kids together. And if I wasn't doing what's best for them. And having a stable parent there for them. See my wife after 16 years all the sudden wanted to hangout with younger friends and party a lot more. I think I mid life crisis. I've been with her since she was 15. She has went down hill with the kids too. She just isn't same person anymore. I feel like I need to try to hate her to try to get past this. I'm 40 and she is 35. She used to be great lover and mom. Now she thinks a lot about her looks and friends. Which was never important to her.
We are living together cause we both want custody of kids. But this is hell. I have to see her everyday. I lock my self in bedroom just to get away sometimes.
Not have been safe or sane. Scary to even
Think about.
I did offer, he was trying to get me Out of
the house. I told him he was still a Married
man and no dating. He had a GF So guess
what he did not move back in Which i did
not want anyway. The gloves Are off and if
they are cheating to boot Way too much
Hurt, pain and betrayal.
Married is married In my book. He said
but its over well its Not over until the
decree and the divorce. I stayed in the
House he lived at his mothers and GF.
Many people go to therapy and divorce
Care.org is a great program for learning
About grieving and divorce.
I hope you each have a lawyer they can
Legally Only represent one of you not
Both as far as i know. HUGS
I think your best shot is take the hire ground and say : " I understand that you are going through changes and want to find yourself. Let's do a trial separation , we will split , you can experience whatever you want and maybe there is a chance we can reconcile. However, our children must come first and we need to be a good team"
She probably wants to see what's out there, and I guarantee in a year she will have a different story to tell.
I am so sorry :-(
In regard to you saying that you think you need to learn to hate her, I get that totally. I had to train myself to not go talk to my husband when he got home from work, to not ask him about his day, to not seek his advice on the kids, to not ask his help with ANYTHING. He was never responsive, and I was beating myself up trying to get him to LOOK AT ME. I was invisible to him for so many years, I finally realized that I had to stop seeking anything from him, because he just wasn't giving it. It took about two years for me to consciously get over the marriage, all the while living with him. I'm not at all advocating you do this, but this is what I did to survive. At that point, I no longer loved him so it worked for me. Painful, nonetheless.
As a stay at home dad, I think you're going to have to revamp yourself, just as all of the stay at home moms have to. How are you in terms of job skills and education? Hopefully all of the children are school aged and you can find employment soon.
Regarding the house, you both don't have to live there if you can financially afford it. Your lawyer should be advising you about temporary custody arrangements while the divorce is underway. It's not that whoever stays in the house gets the kids, it's usually 50/50 when you have little ones. Teens are a different story.