No - I don't feel that way - sounds to me like you might be thinking too hard. You said you moved away, you are near the kids, you are having a good time and you met a girl you like - Sounds great to me unless I missed something.

As far as how you feel about being a "part time" dad, sounds likeit wasn't your choice so all you can do is make the most out of your time with them.

Good luck.

I have to say that is absolutly how I feel. That is almost my exact timeline and situation, but I had to push her to be done in August. Not my choice to go through it, but I didn't want it drug out. I lucked out and my daughter decided to stay with me full time, but I only see my son around half the time. I think that feeling has to do with the amount of change in such a short time; loss of a wife/friend, no more in-laws (not altogether bad), a split family, loss of the house, new place, no furinture, no more dogs, down to about 1/2 a paycheck and having to meet new people. Maybe just the strain of all the changes that we didn't envision or want.

Are you familiar with derealization at all? It's something I've struggled with for over a decade, and is something that can be brought on by stressful circumstances like these. Check it out, and if you think it fits it might be worth speaking to a therapist about - cognitive behavior therapy can help a lot.

I find myself feeling that way regularly. Things will be going along fine and suddenly my life seems surreal. I stop and wonder how I got to the place where I am today. I guess it's not surprising to feel this way when you find yourself thrust into an unwanted situation. In time I suppose we'll adjust to the new reality and things will feel more normal.

Maybe how quickly you finalized your divorce, dated multiple women, and then settled down with 1 in two months causes a surreal timeline, and then makes your reality feel surreal as well?

This is not the life I wanted. I was living the life I wanted. I thought it was going well. Wife, house, 3 kids, then boom it's gone. Instead of a wife, I have a girlfriend. Instead of a house, I live in an apartment. I still have the 3 kids but I am not theven for them 24 hours. Totally not my life. I am typing this in my bedroom where I am alone.

Change is so difficult at times. I can relate to what you are feeling, but at the same time I often feel that I am becoming more myself. I spent 8-9 years trying to be the man my STBX would love and was often rejected or told I wasn't good enough. I don't want to go back to that. I look forward to being in your position in two ways. 1. When the divorce is final and 2. When I have a girlfriend who actually wants to be with me, not some other version of me that I am not.
Maybe you are still grieving what you had, but one day you will embrace what you have now and what you have become. Our relationships didn't happen for no reason. I believe they make us who we are now and we need to acknowledge the change and move forward. I think you are doing so well, you sound so much better and stronger than several months ago. Best wishes, cab

I agree with Cab. But to me it just sounds like you came out of shock and into reality that everything is different. Just think of all the opportunities this new life has in store for you. One great big adventure :-) take care.

You say you have a girlfriend and its been less than a year since your divorce, plus you are having all these feelings. Should you be dating at this point? Is your girlfired aware of your feelings. I'm not sure how I would feel about dating someone who is not happy with his life and wants his old life back. Maybe you need more recovey time from the divorce to find and become content with your new life?

I'm not too far behind you as far my stbx moving out in her own apartment. I've thought the same thing...what happened to my life? This is not what I wanted. The way I look at it is that I still have my life it's my expectation that has changed and will continue to change. In about 3 to 4 weeks, I'll be splitting time with the kids. My expectation is going to change...I expected to have them in my house 100% of the time. I expected to have a loving wife that loved me. That expectation has changed and the change is scary. My therapist is honest with me saying don't underestimate the shear terror that could be felt. However now I need to think more about what do I want to do with my life for me and being the best father for my kids.

I try to remind myself that my life is my life, it's still there. My "normal" is different but it's how I react to the change that will help me get to my new normal.