Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
No one needs to repeat how difficult divorce can be. Let me make some suggestions on dealing with the legal process.
1. The lawyer is not your friend or confidant.
You will be probably be billed somewhere between 200 and 350 per hour and with most lawyers, every call or letter is billed. So if you call to speak about depression, your sons adjustment difficulties, or a feeling of being unattractive, you will be billed. In many divorces, transaction costs are substantial, and cases where 30, 40, 60% of a couples assets are depleted with legal fees not uncommon.
2. Limiting Costs
Limiting costs must be a heavy priority. Those who suggest call the lawyer about this, check with him, file the motion, are frequently misplaced. The threshold question on many issues is whether the cost is justifiable. Calls to a lawyer should be limited, issues organized and combined.
3. The macho syndrome
Many friends counsel you that you need a tough lawyer to deal with a difficult, uncooperative or dysfunctional spouse. Jane, the problem is you have a pussycat and the other side has a tiger. While lawyers have different problems and limitations, the tendency of matrimonial lawyers is to be overly contentious and confrontational. Few lawyers are scared of other lawyers. Judges are frequently annoyed by the lack of a clear, brief, and dispassionate presentation, while clients complain about the lack of details.
1. The lawyer is not your friend or confidant.
You will be probably be billed somewhere between 200 and 350 per hour and with most lawyers, every call or letter is billed. So if you call to speak about depression, your sons adjustment difficulties, or a feeling of being unattractive, you will be billed. In many divorces, transaction costs are substantial, and cases where 30, 40, 60% of a couples assets are depleted with legal fees not uncommon.
2. Limiting Costs
Limiting costs must be a heavy priority. Those who suggest call the lawyer about this, check with him, file the motion, are frequently misplaced. The threshold question on many issues is whether the cost is justifiable. Calls to a lawyer should be limited, issues organized and combined.
3. The macho syndrome
Many friends counsel you that you need a tough lawyer to deal with a difficult, uncooperative or dysfunctional spouse. Jane, the problem is you have a pussycat and the other side has a tiger. While lawyers have different problems and limitations, the tendency of matrimonial lawyers is to be overly contentious and confrontational. Few lawyers are scared of other lawyers. Judges are frequently annoyed by the lack of a clear, brief, and dispassionate presentation, while clients complain about the lack of details.
If you need a brain surgeon, you want the best, you want to understand the procedure and you want to be prepared for any complication.
An attorney is a legal surgeon, you pay them for their expertise, just as you do a brain surgeon.
My attorney gave me a price, up front for the fight start to finish, I paid it and then I bugged the hell out of him with every little thing.
I guess it just depends on what you're discription of "the best" is.
Remember that you're writing a divorce agreement between the two of you....not Law. The police aren't going to go to his door and arrest him if he violates your agreement.
The credit cards aren't going to go check the divorce decree before they look for payment. (Remember one of you signed a legal document with them first.)
So while you can fight about and put Anything in your decree, it doesn't mean that it will be worth anything in the real world.
Get your assets and debts split up, figure out alimony, and child support. And try to limit ALL future entanglements.....(like one of you selling a house and splitting future profits.) Get it split Now.