When I reach out to friends and families, I feel like I am just complaining about my life. In the recent past I have lost my marriage, my brother passed, I lost my job, had open heart surgery, moved across country to keep my family going with my kids. Everyone has stress and issues to cope with. At times, like now, mine seem so huge with ginormous obstacles to having a peaceful life. I do not wish to complain - I do not wish to be negative. I am used to having a positive outlook and look towards a future result. But I am so down.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...