Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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brittany8 12/15/2014

As I reflect on the past 4-5 months, I can see such a change in me. When I joined DS, I was a complete mess, after my husband told me he had meet someone. We had been seperated for 3 years, but had daily contact, and saw each other often. I was ready to ride this thing out, and work it out. Only to realize that was never his plan. My life as it was is for ever altered. But after some weeks, the crying starts to go from hourly, to maby once a day, to not crying for a week. I have completley come to terms with our marraige being over, and the only way I got here was by going no-contact. I fought it for a while, but not talking to him has helped me soooo much. I sometimes see him at our daughters soccer game, but when I do, I hold my head up, and if he says hello, I say hello back, keep walking and give him no more than that. He has texted me a few times, and I have just delete them. I know I am not ready for anything serious, but I find time to go out, and have meet some new friends. One being a man, who is just a friend, but we like to watch football together. He has shown me that life does go on, and when I am ready, I will have the confidence to maby date again..... So to all those at the begining of this...... It does get better, I am proof of that.

Sarasalt 12/15/2014

It's great to hear that you've been there and are starting to come out at the other side. Thank you for sharing, I think there are many of us who could use all of the confirmation we can get! After finally getting living situations more or less settled, my 'no contact' officially started. It's only been just over a week, and while I'm still very depressed and upset, having that concrete knowledge of 'You can't talk to him. You have nothing to talk about. It's not even an option' has provided some stability in what's otherwise been a really unstable time. I'm glad to hear that it helped you!

blh123 12/15/2014

How did the kids take it? How old were they when you told them? I just recently posted my situation. I wish you continuous improvement and happiness.

brittany8 12/15/2014

It was the only way for me.... There really is nothing to say. I have no more need for the apology that I will never get, or the closure that I felt I deserved. I will never come.....So knowing that, I just remind myself that it will get better, and each day it so does. He rarely causes me to think about him for no more than a minute. I would not allow him to be in my head that long. Before no-contact, he was on my mind all the time. Hang in there, you will start to come through this ok.....

whatthe321 12/15/2014

Thanks for posting...I really needed to hear this. I know only a few people that have gone through this but it is always good to hear that it will get better. I hope it keeps getting better for you.

brittany8 12/15/2014

We were married 18 years. So I am starting over at 40.... Our kids are out of the house, all but my 17 year old. He was suppose to tell the kids, but he didn't have the guts I guess. So I sat them down, and told them. There response was " well you guys have been separeted a long time, was bound to happen". They took it very well,and that was such motivation to start the no-contact. I wanted to show them that they didn't have to accept that treatment from anybody. And they are no longer confused, and seem happy that we are both handling it OK. I was a mess 4 months ago........ Could not even get out of bed.... What a difference 5 months makes....

tcl18 12/15/2014

Thanks this is good to hear. I seem to have regressed drastically after doing okay since August (ups and downs, but steady progress). Lately I've been really down, ruminating about the injustice and the OW who is horrible. Seem to be stuck these last few weeks. Every time I hear he's seeing her it brings me way down. I really don't want him back - if I could understand better why it has this effect on me, perhaps I could cope better.

ALD13072 12/15/2014

Brittany, I am so proud of you!!! I remember when you first started posting here and how much pain you were in. I know NC was so hard for you and there were days I wished I could just make you see that things were going to be ok and that NC really was the start to healing and a new life!

You are empowered....you are strong...you deserve happiness and love from not only from a man but deserve love of yourself!

Way to go! Hugs!

neverceases 12/15/2014

That's awesome brittany8!

There really is an art to no contact and it's definitely not easy in the beginning but it is so worth it.

I was still getting accidental calls and facetime calls from him so I took it one step further and blocked him from all avenues except email. Our children are grown now so there is really no reason for any other type of contact. It really does make a huge difference.

Awesome news!

http://lemaym1.wordpress.com/

gem111 12/16/2014

I do remember when you first came on here.
I don't come on here a lot, but this post of yours--I just HAD to say how very proud I am of you and you have come so, so far, I just can't believe it. YOU did it and you should be proud of yourself too.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
You are amazing and I do believe you will never be sorry.
(((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

brittany8 12/16/2014

Thank you everyone.... I have learned to love myself, and that what was missing in my life. I think I was afraid to go NC, because of how my kids would take it. Once I knew they would be ok, all I needed to hear . I am working on me, and really loving my new single life. Thank you all for the support

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