I am so proud of you for doing what you did.
If you want to be married and to have a family - it is probably not going to work out with this guy.
I know that for each person the amount of time spent before marriage is different, but people who mean business usually deliberately build their relationship in a way that it leads to marriage.
I ve been in a crappy relationship for 3 years now and I know it is not going anywhere. We don’t even live together.
I hope you find the right person for you!!

A friend of mine has been “waiting” for her bf for 12 years.. finally when it came time to sh-t or get off the pot, he didn’t come through. Even with all the obstacles behind them, he still was not going to marry her.

She finally broke up with him, and was married a year later.

When you have to wait around for someone to tell you that don't want to marry you, then you already have your answer. Listen to your intuition.

35...you have a brief window of having kids. So if that's what you want...you should really move on.

20s you can play around and waste some time but at 30 something, if they aren't serious about you if they aren't willing to let you go, you need to just walk away.

Yes walk away,
Think about yourself and your needs.

I am sorry you are struggling with this. I know it is so tough when you have invested your time with someone and it seems to be going nowhere. There are men in the world who want to be married and who want to have a family. You have your answer from this man, and I know it's scary and it's sad when a relationship ends, but it definitely sounds like it is time to move on. Similar to what pp said, my best friend had a co-worker who invested years in a relationship with this guy Mike, but he was not willing to take it to marriage. She was so sad, but she bravely moved on. Within a year she met another man and they just got married. It is so important to find someone who is on the same page with you. Before you move into a new relationship though, I really encourage you to get a book by Chip Ingram called Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships. Read it -- study it -- take notes before you head into any new relationship. It will change the way you look at finding the right one. It is so good I have bought copies for other people. It's time to let go of what you had to free yourself from the old way of doing relationships and open yourself up to the possibilities of what you can really be and really have.

Remember your strength and it will help you to do amazing things. As humans, it's easy to feel like we aren't able to do things, but we always manage to.

I had to leave my fiance and it was the hardest thing. I thought he was my soulmate and I thought we would have one another forever, but leaving him was the best decision I ever made. Hindsight helped me to see this. At the moment, I wavered and didn't know if I was making the right decision, but time heals some wounds, and I see now that I did right by myself.
Take this time to nurture yourself. Put yourself first, do things you want to go, make yourself as happy as you can manage. Be vocal about what you feel. Reading your words, you seem to have an immense amount of strength and i am telling you that you will overcome this time.

If you ever need to vent, please message me. I'm happy to listen.
Best wishes.