I am so so sorry you are going through this. The pain of heartbreak can feel unable and i know that it can make everything in your heart feel hardened. You are not alone. I know you said that you can't pray right now- that it is too hard. So just know that you and your situation are in my prayers. I hope, in some way, that may offer a bit of comfort for even a moment in this very difficult time. Hugs to you.

It sounds like you're better off. I know that won't make you feel better. Try to stay busy and take one day at a time. Maybe talk to a therapist.

He will tell you what he thinks you want to hear. which is a guarantee that a relationship with him would have just been awful for the both of you.

find a man who just says things like they are. Find a man who is just himself with you. And who lets you be yourself. And then you need to let him be himself whatever that may be, and you need to let yourself be you.

And then it will be perfect.

I don't really care and the last thing I need is some man feeding me bullshit. I don't attract healthy men. Second failed marriage I am done. Unless by some fluke I find a guy who gets me I get him and we can be friends with benefits.
I have a therapist. Jesus Christ! That felt good.
I don't really give a shit as long as I have relief from the pain and bullshit he effortlessly dished onto me without remorse.
I don't care that I am better off with out him. It's only a reminder of how I have been gutted over the whole fucking ordeal. The thing is, if he had been a real man about it and come to me maybe a whole shit load of heartbreak could've been avoided.
Woulda Coulda Shoulda, but it didn't now here I am paying for his choices and I am pissed as hell. I am full of rage and hatred and fucking contempt.
I feel like everything beautiful in me has died. He wasn't some exboyfriend. I chose to commit my life to this Asshole and was shown clearly that I made a huge mistake and now I have to forgive myself for taking the stupid idiotic chance on this lying cheating wanker!

That's the bloody spirit! You go girl. :) Tell it like it is. :)

I think you are not replaced in his heart. Some people jump from of a really emotional relationship right into another relationship to soothe the pain. For some men, it's easier to have another person to distract them and work off their frustration with while they get over the relationship they were really emotionally invested in. I believe it's were the term rebound relationships come from. You can read his mind or know what's in his heart at this point, so don't discount your own importance to him!