How will telling people the truth about his lies help you?

I just feel like if I let everyone know what a liar he is it will free me. It's like I'm bundled up with everything he has lied about inside of me to hold it in. I feel like i'm freeing myself, and I feel like he should take responsibility for his actions so he stops with the habitual lying.

By breaking up with him, you have freed yourself from that unhappiness. That should be good enough. The rest is just wasted effort. As long as you know the truth and you are no longer together having to deal with it, you win.

I was with a pathological liar too (among his other issues). I found relief by confiding in my therapist. I didn't want to ruin his life, but I too wanted relief from being bound by the things he wanted me to keep silent about, and it was really important to me that at least one person would know the truth, about what I had been living with, my conflicted emotions about it etc.

If you don't have a therapist, then maybe clergy?

I wanted everyone to know what a liar he was so that if they knew it too, he would see it and come back to me. It was a subconscious game.

Rman is right. Being free is being free. Let him mange his lies elsewhere. wishing you all the best.

I'm tried of being the crazy person when he was a pathological liar.

I think that is why she feels she needs to be heard.

My ex too is a pathological liar. It amazes me how people continue to be sucked into his "awesomeness" game.

i will say there is no point in trying to tell people. Then they WILL think you are being petty and most will ignore you especially if they admire him.

You are free, you have gotten away from him.

Trust me, it will all bite him in the ass eventually. People catch on eventually. I have been separated almost a year. He portrayed himself as this heartbroken innocent victim. Still plays it. Yet, I am watching his social circle slowly dwindle. he has to try harder and harder to continue to get the attention he so desperately needs. I have said nothing to anyone yet people are starting to catch on.

Let it be. Stay away from him and take care of yourself. It will all catch up to him, trust me.

You all are right, I am free because I have gotten away from him. It is nice to know someone people can relate. You just have no idea how hard it is to constanly be the bad person. When I would catch him in his lies he somehow spun it around to be my fault for his lie. Whether he needed attention or space. I just don't like to see him get away with it, but you are right it will catch up to him.

I was with a pathological "man" as well. There's a ton of information on the web regarding folks like the one you speak of. I read in your other post that he is ignoring you now. Mine did the same thing. After four+ years. I, too, wanted to spill all of his dirty secrets and watch his demise...I even texted him and told him that I wanted to destroy him. Then I educated myself and learned that he probably loved that text- I completely humiliated myself. You can't WIN the GAME with those people. You can opt to live a LiFE though instead of a LIE. (isn't that corny?) I don't know the future of my ex patho--- I think he is so damn good that he will never get caught, but I don't even care. What he does and his problems are no concern to me anymore. It's quite liberating. Hop off that merry-go-round.

#6 MisRed,

I think so too. It a familiar memory for us isnt it?

((hugging you both))

If he did it to you, he'll do it to the next person.

I agree with Rman that it's probably pointless to tell the people that he knows. In fact, he'll most likely do what he's done in the past, and turn the truth around and make it your fault.

Joy is right too. I found being able to lay out Everything my ex had done and say it aloud, helped me put things into perspective. Talking it out changed me. But not because I was trying to change him... Make sense? Clergy, therapy, an anonomous website....something like that works.

As for what to say to people, or what to say if people questions you, I'd come up with some kind of neutral catch phrase that doesn't say much, like "It's complicated." or "Things often aren't what they seem."

And then add nothing.

oh man
Patti is right about the catch phrase
good advice

i literally gave my X 2 Oscar trophies (ordered online from a Hollywood store):
1-"Best Actor in the whole wide world"
2-"Greatest liar of all times"

and mailed to him. i changed his first name to "Actor"

that was a while back, when i was still in the early stages and needed some type of revenge...now I honestly dont care about him, HE has the worst part: living with himself for the rest of his life. I am FREE!

Thank you all for the great answers! You are exactly right in the fact that if I say something it will just be turned around to look bad on me. I wrote all of his lies in a journal and it kinda helped set me free. But it is so hard to live with a pathological liars lies. They lies on a daily basis to save face. He will eventually have to learn that lying isn't ok and it will catch up to him. I don't need to look like the bad person.