I know what you're going through. Sorry its so hurtful right now but everyone tells me it gets better. I found a book called "Transitions" by William Bridges that has helped a lot. It gives you a new perspective on what you're going through during these times. Maybe it would help?

That is just how I feel. We were together for 18 years and he found a girlfriend. A much younger girlfriend. I am so hurt. I was good to him and didn't give him a reason. I went to a divorce lawyer today and I do feel a little better. I know it needs to end but there is a part of me that would love to turn back time.

I am right there with you, betrayal is incredible pain. Start a new road to happiness for you! Cheaters spend their whole lives looking for something that does not exist.

Wow Pam you are feeling exactly what I am feeling. How we get through this is staying strong and focusing more on us and less on them. I quite haven't figured that out yet. Continue to vent by writing in your journal as I do. We have to let go, we have too. I don't want to be eating alive by all of this. Look at the world around you take note of the people who you seek to comfort you. become more self aware notice things that you havent noticed in a long time. Look at the sky for all its wonder, take the time to stop and smell the roses. It is slow and coming, trust me I know but you will get there. I am here for you and together we will get through it.

Hope this helps- it helped me.

Letting Go


To let go doesnt mean to stop caring:
It means I cant do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off
Its the realization that I cant control someone else
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try and blame or change another;
I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective,
It is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, complain or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and control anyone,
but to try and become what I dream to be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.

I am so there with you. I could not imagine seeing him with another woman. I would probably go ballistic.

My ex has never shown any emotion as well that is what hurts the most. Only one time did I see a hint of emotion and it was her berating herself, of course I tried to console her and tell her it wasn't all her, what a dumbass I was.

Letting go is the absolute hardest thing to do. One way that I'm handling this is trying to think of stbx as simply my child's father, and nothing more. Much easier said than done. I think it just takes a lot of time. Keep reminding yourself of the wonderful qualities in YOU, and how you deserve to be happy and healthy.

Thanks imhealing, that's very inspirational for me.

I'm with you there. I've been really hurt knowing my ex-wife has a boyfriend and she is a different person than the person I married.