**posted in infidelity forum too - need as much support as I can get**

Hi eveyrone, so as i was erasing things off my computer , I found a letter that I had written to the Ex and I never gave it to him, I remember I was afraid of him getting upset at me and leaving. It may be personal but I really wanted to share it with you guys because in the moments where I start to remember the good times...i read it and it reminds me why God wanted him out of my life.

I regret not giving it to him, he became so egotistical as I became scum...he even had the audacity to say "I know you will never leave me", because he knew that he did the worst possible thing which was cheat and I forgave him.

If you guys havent read by story here it is :
http://www.dailystrength.org/people/3039556/journal



Dear XXXX,

I'm choosing to write this letter because I know that you will not give me a chance to say what I need to say. I don't want to be yelled at or disrespected by you anymore. I don't know what goes on in your head anymore. You're cold one minute and then you are raging the other. I know that our situation is not good right now, but you know what is so unfair, I have put up with more than what you have to put up with when you cheated. I am not sure why you're here anymore. You said it to me, more than once I want a divorce - I don't want to be with you - I hate you I regret ever meeting you - I am not in love with you - I only stay with you because you are begging me - you are pitiful (just like your friend told me)

(**by his friend, I meant the woman who emailed me about the affair.)

And yet, not one word of love or hope has come from your mouth and I am still here taking it again and again. You talk about how you hated being treated like Sh**, yet you're doing it to me, that is being a hypocrite.

You want to do you, worry about yourself, then go right ahead but I do not need to be disrespected or treated like I'm a casual girlfriend. You say you're not in the mood to text me anymore, yet before you were the one getting so angry if I didnt write to you.

Last night was honestly the last straw for me what the f*** do you think our home is a hotel somewhere you can come and sleep whenever you please? drink whenever you want and not talk to me? you are really wrong. You really need to figure your life out.

You tell me how all your other coworkers wives are so understanding and Debbie let them stay in the station, I'm glad they are and I'm sure they're fucking tired of seeing her husband face of that is why they're glad they don't go home. This is not me and I am not okay with you doing that tonight in one week. You fucking you don't even call me to tell me that you're staying at the station even after one hour has passed by. This is such bullshit. You can text me at saying I'll get out late nothing right

I know what the problem is, you can't stand me, you hate seeing me, and you would like for me to disappear but you have no idea how to go about this. You want to single life like you said, not care about anyone, come home whenever you please, then go right ahead and do it. If I actually saw hope in you I would keep working on this but I don't anymore.

So go ahead XXXX, make your dreams come true, take all you want , take all the money in the account, take whatever you want in the house that you think will make you happy. I will not fight for anything. I hope that this is a relief to see me finally giving up on you like you had told me once finally you get it that I don't want to be with you stop being pathetic