Mabey just mabey im thinking this perdon wants to wait to make sure youre divorce is finalized before going any futher with u , for there own sake of not getting hurt or involed with at this point a still married women because here u say the divorce is almost done but see its not done yet just my thoughts on things here.

I agree. Maybe so. Ex and I have been separated for awhile. I now live in another state. Just final hearing to go because of finances. I would completely understand his apprehension...there would never be a chance of reconciliation with ex. He doesn't know that though. Makes sense. Either way, if that's the case, I wish he would have just been honest. I just feel he did a complete 180.

Thanks for your thoughts...

I'm sorry this happened,
For whatever reason he has for not contacting you, I would say your gut is telling you this is a red flag and please watch out for other red flags.
I wish you the best

I am glad to know you learned you are not "dead" inside. I have also felt dead inside, after years of verbal and emotional abuse, and have wondered if I'll ever even feel any attraction again. So, I am happy for you for being able to feel something after what you've been through.

I hope he contacts you and there's an explanation. Maybe he was on a flight and there were weather delays? Maybe he's just tired? Maybe there is still time to take it slow.

I am hoping so, 11Christmases.

I am so picky, and I really liked this guy. I am crossing my fingers, but at this point feel I am reaching for excuses.

Thanks.

Well, after the end of my relationship I met someone new too. She was great and I wasn't really thinking about meeting someone. I told her about my worries and she convinced me to try. Eventually it didn't end well. I suppose that there are no guarantees for anything.
We just get up and we try again and then maybe we get knocked down again or maybe it works out.
I think that it's great that you are trying again. Obviously take it slow for your own sake and try not to have any expectations you know?
Another thing is that, if you worry about all the little things too quickly and you bring it to a new relationship, that will cause it to die too. I guess i'm trying to say "take it easy" have a healthy and positive attitude and then you won't get hurt if it doesn't work out.
Good luck :)

Ahh the tenuous tightrope of dating..it's so stressful at times..but the fun is in the uncertainty. So if this guy didn't contact you..there will be others. If you attracted someone worth getting butterflies over, then you can attract even better next time. It's just the beginning..and you are not dead.
I know a woman who was in a car wreck and took forever to recover..didn't date for almost 10 years. She still has a limp but she kept an image in her mind of what she wanted( not physical qualities; more characteristics) and wasn't going to settle for anything less. She found what she wanted on a dating site, really. She is going to get married soon and and they are soo in love.
You just never know how life will turn out..but don't give up.

Great that you are trying again. No one is dead, we just get hung up on one person when there are trillions of others out there. No judgment, that was me when my relationship ended also.

Okay, regarding him not contacting you - I am not going to say is not a red flag - It may or it may not be, also, I am not sure how long you were married and when was the last time you dated but...the dating world is very different and impersonal these days and those who refuse to adapt will have a hard time out there. Some hate it and even isolate themselves after trying it for a bit. Unfortunately those who do that will have a tough time finding someone because we don't meet people at church, Walmart, Home Depot, etc. Most relationships start online.

With that out of the way - 24 hrs without contacting someone we are only talking to is not alarming these days, he is not your boyfriend - he's only chatting with you. People chatting in the year 2014 - vs in the year 1980 means two different things - and many people chat with multiple people - in fact, most do. So if this person reaches out again, if I was you, I wouldn't even ask him what took him so long to reach out - he might think you aren't supposed to be asking that - let him explain if he wants. Moving forward - do go slow with dating because if not, your feelings will get hurt big time. It takes time to adapt to anything new we are doing, don't lose hope, just keep a safe distance and don't stick around too long when you notice that someone isn't a good fit for you. And most importantly, do not have any type of expectations from people you are only chatting with.

I am sorry, maybe this isn't what you wanted to hear - I am not sure, but I been dating for a year now - and I am 45 - I am doing way better now - but when I first started my feelings were crushed all the time - mainly because I was trying to date the old school way - those days are gone and we do not do ourselves any justice trying to recreate them. Like my kids would say "GET WITH THE PROGRAM".

Good luck and best wishes.

Well...I jumped the gun, I guess? He just texted and explained...I didn't ask. Phone issues, had to go to Verizon this morning. It was a company phone so that had to verify everything. I am going to trust this is the case because the exact same thing happened to my brother three weeks ago. I am going to be cautious though. I am going to take it sloowww with no expectations. Just try to enjoy the ride. It's in God's hands I guess.

Thank you all for your support. I know the dating scene is a lot different now. Reading these posts is certainly a validation. I am 46 though, so I foolishly thought that at this age people are more sincere and are past the point of playing games. I guess there are "players" at any age.

I need to remind myself of that as I move forward. Thanks again.

You are correct - there are players at any age - in fact, I am finding that the 40+ are even worst - midlife crisis. And many pursuing younger women - but that's a whole other topic.

Good luck to you.

Amen Milliejay. Older men especially still looking for the "fantasy"..there are players in the older set, for sure.