Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I cannot recall if I posted in this group before so if it's a repeat posting I apologize! I posted in the Lesbian Relationship Challenges Group already but thought I would post here as well.
I write seeking advice so here goes.. My girlfriend of two years and I broke up a few months ago and Ive been SOOOOO heartbroken/sad. I miss her immensely. The short story is is that she was my first deeply committed lesbian relationship. It was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In a nutshell though it eventually became clear that she was ready for more (shes a little older and had been in a few other committed relationships) and while I wanted to be ready I simply wasnt. Since our break-up I have been DEEPLY broken-hearted and miss her, our life together and everything so much. Id like advice on how to be with the pain and how to heal from a first-love. Thank you in advance for your input!
I write seeking advice so here goes.. My girlfriend of two years and I broke up a few months ago and Ive been SOOOOO heartbroken/sad. I miss her immensely. The short story is is that she was my first deeply committed lesbian relationship. It was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In a nutshell though it eventually became clear that she was ready for more (shes a little older and had been in a few other committed relationships) and while I wanted to be ready I simply wasnt. Since our break-up I have been DEEPLY broken-hearted and miss her, our life together and everything so much. Id like advice on how to be with the pain and how to heal from a first-love. Thank you in advance for your input!
I am really sorry you are going through this.
The best thing I have heard to help yourself is to take good care of yourself. Do things every day just for yourself that you enjoy doing.
Taking a bubble bath, taking a walk, Watching a movie or reading a book you want to read. Eat a meal out at your favorite restaurant, get a massage or manicure. You get the picture. People say it works.
I wish you the very best. You will find someone else, but I hope you take the time to heal from this break-up first. Learn to be comfortable, and love yourself first.
Good luck
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Gem111- I really appreciate your suggestions.
MSqtD- we broke up as she was simply ready for more and I felt like I was in some ways ready for that and in other ways not. I was concerned about having not been with enough women and had a few reservations but I've been having trouble remembering what those were.
Lately I've been questioning my decision because I miss her so much:( I feel like I'm never going to get over her but I wonder if this is just a normal part of the process especially since she was my first love and the gay piece seems important to me as it feels different than the heterosexual relationships I've been in where my heart wasn't as opened as it wasn't aligned for me.
Grieving is not a race. It's not about who gets over things the fastest of who moves on first. You are feeling brokenhearted because thats what you need to feel right now. It's part of the process.
I know that's not a lot of comfort, but there is no perfect answer. You will know when the time is right to start letting go and moving on. Don't rush it.
And good luck to you.