This is quite lengthy so stay with me.
My heart feels destroyed. I have been with a guy named Matthew for five years. Matthew and I started dating at 17 and we got a home together and got animals to make a family. Well, I suffer from severe depression bipolar. I have horrible mood swings. Matthew left me almost a month ago because we argued too much. He wanted to start over new with someone else. We got into a fight that day and he told me he is done with me, and up and left. I ended up leaving because he was hanging with his coworker and talking to her just two days later. It broke me. I moved to VA to get away from painful memories, he called me crying the next weekend because he saw I purchased a ticket to Oregon. He was crying and felt guitly because he slepted with that coworker...he destroyed me right there. How could he do that? HOw could he sleep with someone so soon? I told I will forgive him if he came with me with me to Oregon in a few months after I healed. He told me he will think about it...Next day...he chooses her. He told me he is happy with her... What? He is making no sense! I feel so destroyed and damaged. My whole world crashed. I lost my home, my animals, my sense of security...the love of my life! I am barely holding on... I know I messed up and didn't treat him the best with my horribles words, because my mood swings are crazy. But, I love him with all of my heart. I wanted us to grow up and build a better life, and I wanted that in Oregon.. He is too scared to leave his family and friends but it isnt a good city to live in( WV) . He wont take me back or come out here. He would rather be with her.. A week before we broke up, we were doing amazing. Full of love and fun. One horrible arguement pushed him out the door forever.
How do I deal with the pain of being the reason he left? I understand why he ended things. I do. I was cruel. I made mistakes and pushed him away. BUt, I want us back. I wanna change for him.
He won't give me a chance. So, how do I get past all this horrible pain? I am crying everyday. Even hiking and walking everywhere doesn't help. My chest hurts so bad. I miss him so much. We had a wonderful 5 fives with rocky patches. But when it was good, it was amazing. We werelike best friends AND lovers... We always had fun and laugh and good intimacy. We just argued so much..
Hello everyone. My wife of 38 years and love of my life for 41 moved in with her daughter on April 2nd. She says she is confused about how she feels and does not know if she wants to fix things. I have offered to do anything I can to keep us together, including making changes. I am lost, alone, and depressed. I love her so much. I thought I would try a support group to see if I would...