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Last night in marital house

ALD13072
ALD13072
I thought I was doing so well....but the reality has hit me really hard tonight! The movers will be here at 8:00 in the morning to move me to my new house. I tried to stay positive and focus on my new beginning, my new house, and how I could spend all my time decorating the way I want, and how I would explore My new neighborhood (walking the trails, trying new restaurants, etc) but tonight has been really difficult. Everything is boxed up, no pictures on the walls. How is it that just 2 years ago we built this dream house that we would grow old in and now it is all gone....the house, the marriage, the love.

This has been a huge setback and the pain is just as great as the day he left. He doesn't even know I am moving tomorrow. Besides a few emails relating to the divorce and some ugly text message exchanges I have had no contact/not seen him since he walked out the door that night with his things in tow to move in with his mistress.

Just so sad and don't understand how it came to this. I just stood in the shower tonight and prayed for God to wake me up and for this all to be just a long nightmare.
gem111
gem111
I can't promise, but I'm pretty sure once you move and get settled you will feel so much better. You deserve so much better than what your husband turned out to be. Please do not think he will be happy for long. The grass is always greener does not always turn out to be true. The last Post I remember you posted, he was more disgusting than I've heard of for a very long time.
There is no doubt in my mind that there is someone that will treat you like you deserve to be treated, if you want another relationship.
I wish you the very best and much happiness in your new place.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))
deleted_user
deleted_user
Don't feel bad for a second. You deserve so much better.
"Life is what's happening while we're busy making other plans -John Lennon-
Live the present and don't live in the past or the future. This is a NEW step in your life so enjoy it because it is full of promise. Make it a great step forward to a better life.
BIG HUG
deleted_user
deleted_user
The move is another step forward as you say goodbye. Painful yes and I still remember my exhausted struggles as I said goodbye over and over to what I shared with my now ex. Leaving the house is a painful passage but necessary to bring you to new, lovely place.
sh39
sh39
I felt the same when my ex wife moved out. It just seemed that everything crashed around me. The first night alone in our house was very sad. The next night was hard as well. I do think it got a little better (for me) by the end of the week.

Months later, I was expecting another crash, when my divorce was finally complete. I think by then, I had gotten used to the idea, so it was more of a mild disappointment.

Try to find something each day that you enjoy to keep you busy. You will probably need to spend a lot of time making your new place your own. Give it time, you are not alone.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I really feel for you. I cried and cried when I moved just two weeks ago but honestly I was so busy unpacking that I had forgotten how sad I was and I know that you will too. I understand how you feel...it's another nail in the marriage coffin. And this too shall pass. Hang in there.
FeelingLikeNothing
FeelingLikeNothing
Oh, I've taken more than one of those same showers. :/

You're taking a huge step and it'll be a major change, so it's no surprise that it's hitting you hard, that you're upset. It's okay to be derailed sometimes. Mourn when you need to, let it out and let it go.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Please hang in there. Divorce is hard...it's like a rollercoaster. I feel your pain. I've been out of my house for about a month, and I thought I was doing great until I started crying this week and have been crying off and on for days. Hugs to you. We will get through this :-)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Skew the view.

Instead of loss, this could be your first step in an unexpected journey that will take you to new places and new things. So much on the horizon now. You are free.
seashell6
seashell6
My heart breaks for your pain......I have been there and its the hardest thing to walk away without a choice from all your hopes and dreams. Keep doing what you're doing with minimal to no contact, its the best way for you to be able to keep moving forward. I hope you can really enjoy your new place and enjoy exploring the area and make some new friends...
(((hugs)))
deleted_user
deleted_user
A new neighborhood and new walking trails means meeting new people. Find some great neighbors that you can enjoy. And walking trails and fun and you meet great people on them.

I think it will turn out great for you!!!
simit
simit
seashell6 I hear ya. However, I was someone who HAD to stay in the marital home. It was so horrible. It was just over 6 weeks after the birth of our twins (he started an affair during the pregnancy) that he started moving out. He would come and see his babies twice a week and would take away his stuff little by little, so so heartbreaking. I was just recovering from my C-section and was ALL BY MYSELF with two newborn babies. I couldn't go house-hunting cause had no time. Didn't accept his help to find me a place either. Then came the day of his big move. That was so so heartbreaking, literally the picture of a broken home for me as a spouse, and for the babies who had not just been born...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was where you are 2 years ago. The first night in the new place was the hardest, and I cried myself to sleep. I didn't realize then that this move would be forever, but it is now. It's OK to be sad. Feel the feelings. Have a good cry when you need to. That's the thing about not having them aroaund - you don't have to keep a stiff upper lip. It's your place, so cry when you need to. I found that getting out for long walks on the trails near my place helped me a lot. I did a lot of talking to my higher power. I still have the occasional bad day, but things are so much better for me now. The tension is gone.
ALD13072
ALD13072
Thank you all so much for the encouraging words, it truly does help to hear from people who understand exactly what I am going through. I did really great at our old house...didnt shed a single tear...not even when I walked out the door for the final time.

It wasn't until I got to my new house that I started to fall apart. I wanted so badly to get away from our old home, there were way too many memories, but now I sit in my new home crying, no wait, sobbing excessively because there are no memories in ithis house. It doesn't smell like home, I cant figure out which light switch is what, I can't imagine any joy in this home. I just keep telling myself that tomorrow will be better.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm envious that you have a new place to make your own home. I'm renting a duplex right now, so I'm limited as to how much I can make it my own. There's so much I would do if it were mine - especially ripping up these disgusting, stained, dirty old carpets! Alas. You have to start making new memories in this new home. Throw yourself a house-warming party. Start to have holidays there. Decorate it in your own style. It takes a while to feel at home again, but you'll settle in. It also helps to get to know your neighbors. It gives you a sense of belonging again. That's been the hardest part for me - I came from owning by own home to renting in the same town I grew up in. I feel displaced, like a lesser life form, because I'm just a renter now. I don't feel like I truly belong here. But it is getting better the longer I'm here. It just takes timel (I know people hate hearing that, but it's so true).